I got detention for giving an emo kid a glow stick... I tried to lighten his spirit
What did the plane say to the tower? Give me a kiss.
there was one kid that came home from school and asked his mom what dark humor was? she said well son do you see that guy over there across the road, go give him a high-five. Son said but I can't see. mom said that's the point
I have a better method of abortion than currently used. It's like a regular one, except you can get free food out of it...we're about to give baby-back ribs a whole new meaning.
What did they give Elmo before he left the factory. Two test-tickles
we should give whoever killed hitler a statue oh wait nevermind.
I teach orphans But the problem is I can't give them home work
How do you help a starving cannibal You give him a hand
ROBERT LEWANDISNEY SONG
Give me freedom Give me fire Give me contract Or I retire
Jog all day Out of UCL now FC Barcelona I need you now
Villarreal defenders They surround me Big submarines All around me
I get upset Call my agent I want money I’m impatient
god sent to the principles office for giving a blind kid sun glasses and said dont let the sun damage your eyes.
What did the headless horseman say to the woman? give me head
How do you get a cow to eat? give it mooshroom!
My ex boyfriend's dick is so small that instead of giving him a handjob I had to give him a thumb and forefinger job.
How do you turn a dishwasher into a snow plow?
Give her a shovel.
What did the orphans friend give him for his birthday?
Lego so he can build a home.
When you are suicidal comedic relief sometimes helps. These jokes sometimes help you realize how many more people feel the way you do and how ridiculous it sounds sometimes.
But joke time....
I’m giving in my two week resignation to life... it’s not you ... it’s me!!!
A nun, badly needing to use the restroom, walked into a local Hooters. The place was hopping with music and loud conversation and every once in a while "the lights would turn off." Each time the lights would go out, the place would erupt into cheers. However, when the revelers saw the nun, the room went dead silent.
She walked up to the bartender, and asked, "May I please use the restroom? The bartender replied, "OK, but I should warn you that there is a statue of a naked man in there wearing only a fig leaf." "Well, in that case, I'll just look the other way," said the nun. So the bartender showed the nun to the back of the restaurant.
After a few minutes, she came back out, and the whole place stopped just long enough to give the nun a loud round of applause. ! She went to the bartender and said, "Sir, I don't understand. Why did they applaud for me just because I went to the restroom?"
"Well, now they know you're one of us," said the bartender, "Would you like a drink?" "No thank you, but, I still don't understand," said the puzzled nun.
"You see," laughed the bartender, "every time someone lifts the fig leaf on that statue, the lights go out.
Now, how about that drink?"
Those rape alarms give you a headache don't they?
Why should you never give an orphan a phone?
Because they wouldent be able to find the home buton
When is the only time Kamala Harris is using her head? When she is giving it.
