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Why am I still alive? Pills give me stomache, blood makes faint, height frightens me...

Comments and join dumbledore's army in the community to give someone you hate permanent bad luck

Royal aka ZEPHYR gets cucked daily by Tyrone

ZEPHYR watches Tyrone give his wife the genes he could never give her. What a loser

A kid asks his dad why his name is expirence, the dad says that's what we give our mistake's.

my sister gives her hamster to my brother since she thinks im irresponsible so i throw it out the window

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

God: you're gonna have 2 parents.

Orphan: douvle it and give it to the next person

yo mama is so fat they had to flood the superbowl to give her a bath

Roses are red, your eyes are brown; never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down.

Violets are blue, roses are red. Last night your mom was giving me head.

Those rape alarms give you a headache don't they?

Every body loves guns! Everytime I show them mine, they give me free stuff.

When Albert Einstein was making the rounds of the speaker’s circuit, he usually found himself eagerly longing to get back to his laboratory work. One night as they were driving to yet another rubber-chicken dinner, Einstein mentioned to his driver (a man who somewhat resembled Einstein in looks & manner) that he was tired of speechmaking.

“I have an idea, boss,” his driver said. “I’ve heard you give this speech so many times. I’ll bet I could give it for you.” Einstein laughed loudly and said, “Why not? Let’s do it!”

When they arrived at the dinner, Einstein donned the driver's cap and jacket and sat in the back of the room. The driver gave a beautiful rendition of Einstein’s speech and even answered a few questions expertly.

Then a supremely pompous professor asked an extremely esoteric question about anti-matter formation, digressing here and there to let everyone in the audience know that he was nobody’s fool. Without missing a beat, the driver fixed the professor with a steely stare and said, “Sir, the answer to that question is so simple that I will let my driver, who is sitting in the back, answer it for me.”

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

If life gives you melons, you're proababli dyslexic

Little Johnny was walking down an alley and saw a lamp. After he rubbed it a genie came out and said "You have 10 seconds to have one wish". Little Johny says he wants to pee alcohol. The genie grants his wish. He tells his family and his sister doesn't believe it. After having a drink she says, "We should have this every night!". Little Johny gets two cups every night one for him and his sister. He does the same thing for four nights. Eventually he ran out of cups and has one left. He gives on himself and his sister asks, "Wheres my cup?". little Johny replied, "Your drinking out of the bottle tonight".