Girls jokes
How to get a girl in three steps:
Step 1: grab a pillow.
Step 2: grab a blanket.
Step 3: keep dreaming.
A man was shaving in the bathroom when all of a sudden Bubba, the boy he payed to mow his lawn, comes in to take a piss. The man can't help but look over his shoulder and he is surprised at how well endowed he is, and he asks: "Bubba, what's your secret?"
Bubba replies: "Well, every night before I get in bed with a woman I whack my dick on the bedpost three times. It works, and it sure impresses the girls!"
The man was excited at this easy suggestion and decided to try it that very night, before he went to bed with his wife. So he got to bed and whacked his dick on the bedpost three times and the wife wakes up and says "Bubba, is that you?"
What’s the best part of raping an 11 year old girl?
Killing the little bitch after you’ve finished with her.
Hey girl, are you an orphan?
Oh, that’s right, I’m your daddy.
Hey girl, are your pants a mirror? 'Cause I can see myself in them.
A girl's pussy is a muff, and when we have something against our mouths, they say our voice is muffled, so do I think the origin of the word "muffled" is talking while eating muff?
I scanned an emo girl's arm the other day. Now I own her, only 3.99 with tax. That's a steal and a half, woopeeee!
Girl, come here, my parents aren't home.
Orphan: Mine are never.
By day I like girls, by night I like boys, but you, I wouldn’t like you at dusk or dawn.
What do girl emos and boy emos have in common?
1. They both want to die.
2. They both cut to die faster.
3. They both listen to emo songs.
4. They like "I wanna die" song/"Miss wanna die."
Hey girl, are you my boss? 'Cause you just gave me a raise.
What do emo boys and emo girls have in common? They both wanna die and cut so they can die faster, but they are already dead, already dead to me!
My Crandall just be smashing more than you ON DA GIRLS, and he was slapping your girl last night harder than WILL at the OSCARS! ;)
Why do orphan girls love pedophiles? Because they get to call someone “Daddy”!
A 10 year old girl meets with her doctor. The doctor tells her “Katie, I’m sorry to have to tell you that your parents didn’t survive the accident. Sadly, our tests also show that you have early onset Alzheimer’s disease.”
Katie replies “well at least my parents will look after me.”
Is there a really annoying girl at your school and she's so fake? Well, say this:
Me: Hey, I have a nickname for you.
Her: Really? What?
Me: Sweet-in-low.
Her: Why?
Me: Because you're artificial.
What do u call a pretty Indian girl?
Bomb bae.
Hey baba girl, I have balls, you know.
You know boys have balls. Girls have balls, too.
I was playing a tennis match against a girl and said, "I will fuck you up." She said, "Try me." So that's exactly what I did, and I won by forfeit as she ended up running away crying.