Girls are like black jack
I always want 21 but end up hitting on 14
A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, “Are there any girls here?” The bartender says, “No, only women.” The man then leaves.
When the emo girl is in a movie and the director says cut
A Girl walks into the church and confesses..
Girl " Forgive me father for i have sinned"
Priest "How have you you sinned may i ask?"
Girl " I called a man a son of a bitch"
Priest " Why did you call a man a son of a bitch?"
Girl " He held my hand '
Priest " Like this? ( he holds the girl's hand)
Girl " Yes father"
Priest " That does not explain why you called a man a bitch"
Girl " He started taking off my clothes "
Priest " Like this? " ( He takes off the girls clothes)
Girl " yes father "
Priest " that also doesn't explain why you called the man a bitch "
Girl " Then he took off his clothes and put his you know what into my you know what "
Priest " Like this? " ( he puts his you know what into her you know what )
Girl " YES FATHER !! YES FATHER !!!
Priest " Then what? "
Girl " Then he got up and left me naked "
Priest " THAT SON OF A BITCH!! "
A girl goes to a Church to confess.....
Girl : "Forgive me father for I have sinned."
Priest : "What have you done my child?"
Girl : "I called a man a son of a bitch."
Priest : "Why did you call him a son of a bitch?"
Girl : "Because he touched my hand."
Priest : "Like this?" (as he touches her hand)
Girl : "Yes father."
Priest : "That's no reason to call a man a son of a bitch."
Girl : "Then he touched my breast."
Priest : "Like this?" (as he touched her breast)
Girl : "Yes father."
Priest : "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."
Girl : "Then he took off my clothes, father."
Priest : "Like this?" (as he takes off her clothes)
Girl : "Yes father."
Priest : "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."
Girl : "Then he stuck his you know what into my you know where."
Priest : "Like this?" (as he stuck his you know what into her you know where)
Girl : "YES FATHER, YES FATHER, YES FATHER!!!"
(after a few minutes)
Priest : "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."
Girl : "But father, he had AIDS!"
Priest : "THAT SON OF A BITCH!!!"
What's the difference between a piranha and a teenage girl?
The piranha doesn't wear makeup.
A pedophile was holding a bag of chocolates and then approached a little girl at the park.
"Hey little girl! If you give me a teeny-tiny kissy-kiss on the tip of my wee-wee, I'll give you a piece of my chocolate!"
The little girl replies, "If I suck your whole cock, can I have the whole bag?"
NEWS: A man kidnamed a 13 year old girl MOM OF GIRL: The man had a shady face and a receeding hairline
What do hockey players and Surrey girls have common? They both only change their pads after every third period!
A girls walks into an Adult Store. "Hi I want to buy that Red Dildo right there"
Cashier: that's a Fire Extinguisher you whore"
A 10 year old girl reported to her friends that her 16 year old male babysitter was touching her inappropriately, he quickly lost his job as a babysitter.
A 10 year old boy reported to his friends that his 16 year old female babysitter was touching him inappropriately, she quickly became the most popular babysitter in town amongst boys.
What do an emo girl and a blind girl have in common?
Black is their favourite colour
An old professor’s class used, to begin with, a dirty joke. Following one particularly vulgar joke, the girls in the class decided to walk out the next time he began. When the professor learned of this planned protest, he came in the next morning and said, “Good morning, class. Did you hear about the scarcity of wh*res in Newfoundland?” With that, all the women stood up and headed for the door. “Wait, ladies,” called the professor, “The boat doesn’t leave until tomorrow!”
One way to not pick up girl is to say, “are you an American school because I wanna shoot kids into you.” I tried it on a girl and she is now terrified to come near me.
How was I supposed to know she was already pregnant?
What do a 14-year-old pregnant girl and the child inside her have in common? Both are thinking, “Oh no! My mom’s gonna kill me!”
My girl freind called me a cock sucker but HEY 20 dollars is 20 dollars
in the hospital i saw a girl with cancer trying to sleep the icu was going beep beep beep i think thats why she cant sleep so I turned it of shes asleep forever now nighty night
I told a girl she was cute and she said "aw tysm" how does she know I have that
I was at a bar the girl said sex, sex free sex tonight when she really said 663629
I raped a girl and I liked it I hope my girlfriend won't mind it It felt so wrong, it felt so right Don't mean I'm in love tonight
