Girl jokes
If a girl jumps off a cliff, some people call it suicide and some call it girl power, but I call it BULLSHIT.
Guy and Girl are in the shower talking to each other.
Guy: Let's drop the soap.
Girl: Let's do it!
Johnny Depp to a 15-year-old girl: "Wow, look at that sexy body! Savvy!"
Michael Jackson, when talking about a 6-year-old boy: "The boy is mine! That doggone boy is mine! Don't waste your time...."
Donald Trump, Bill Clinton, and Jeffrey Epstein entering and exclaiming, "Wow, this place is more fun than the Playboy Mansion!"
Two teenagers were raping an 11-year-old girl in an alley, so I stepped in to help. The little bitch didn’t stand a chance against the three of us.
My girlfriend just broke up with me because I held a door for another girl. She said I was cheating, but the girl I helped was in a wheelchair.
I woke up one day to find handcuffs on my bed. Turns out, the girl I drugged yesterday escaped.
What's the difference between an abortion and a baby girl in China? Nothing, they both die.
If you are a girl and your favorite movie as a kid was Mulan, they successfully made a man out of you.
So, I was raping this girl the other night, and she said, "Please just think of my kids!" I was like, "What a freak."
Why do Indian guys never have gfs? Because they always pick curry and biryani over girls.
I was at a funeral. I kissed a hot girl I did not know. She was the one that died.
How do you give an "Alabama Girl" a nice compliment?
Answer: You say to her, "Hey, NICE TOOTH!"
Why did the white girl come back from Africa?
Because there was no water for her to drink. I'm black.
Girls are like rocks, the flat ones get skipped.
Had an amazing night with this girl, woke up, and it was my aunt. Now I’m in love.
Guy: Do you know how to draw women's rights?
Girl: No, how?
Guy: All you need is a blank paper, and that's it.
There was a girl I used to date, only to find out that she used to be a man. You could say, she put me in a trans.
Q: What do you call a girl walking down a street?
A: Lost, she's supposed to be in the kitchen.
Me: Ok so let's get this straight....
Cop: I'm not straight ok, now get in the car.
Me: But I didn't do anything?
Cop: No.
Me: So why are you arresting me then?
Cop: Imma tell you a story.
Me: Oh no.......
Cop: I know, now come on.
Me: Ok where?
Cop: My room.
Me: Which room?
Cop: My bedroom.
Me: 😱I'm a girl.
Cop: So am I, now get in.
Me: But I'm 9.
Cop: I'm 59.
Why can't orphans play baseball? They don’t know where home is.
I made a website for orphans, but it doesn't have a home page.
Doctor: I’m going to have to turn you away. Orphan: But why? Doctor: Because I’m a family doctor.
Why do orphans like boomerangs? Cause they come back.
Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be wanted.
Girls are like rocks; the flat ones get skipped.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite TV show? Family Guy.
If you hit an orphan, what are they going to do? Tell their parents?
If you hit an orphan with a car, at least you don't have to tell their parents.
Why did the orphan go to church? So he had someone to call Father.
What does an orphan call a family photo? A selfie.
Why was the orphan a big success? Cause people say go big or go home, he only had one option.
Why is it ok to hit an orphan? It’s not like they can tell their parents.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite store? Home Depot.
What do orphans and blind kids have in common? They can’t see their parents.
Why can't orphans hear about ancient Egypt? Because they don’t know what a mummy is.
Why are orphans bad at poker? Because they don't know what a full house is.
What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.