A weasel walks into a bar and the bartender says, “Wow, I’ve never seen a weasel before. What can I get you?”
“Pop,” goes the weasel.
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Confusion life question!!!
* Can you cry underwater? * Do fishes ever get thirsty? * Why don't birds fall out the tree when they sleep? * Why is a building called that when it's already built? * When they say dog food is new and improved, who tastes it?
Hey babe, I’m looking to get 23 years in 23 seconds, can you help?
Why did the otter cross the road?
To get to the otter side.
Kid: How much do you get paid?
Teacher: Minimum wage.
How do you get 50 babies into a car?
You blend them.
Why doesn't bread like warm weather?
It gets toasty!
A magician is driving, but then he "turns" into a driveway.
If you get this joke, you have no personality at all. Send all the help you can get:).
What do you get when you light Stephen Hawking on fire? A fried PC.
Person 1: A life.
Person 2: I don't get it.
Person 1: Exactly.
What do you get when you put a baby in a blender? An extraction.
How does Stephen Hawking get clean?
He uses Tesco car wash.
Why doesn't the witch wear panties?
To get a better grip on her broom stick!
Yo mama so ugly that on Halloween she didn't get candy.
Why can't melons get married?
Because they cantaloupe.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
TO GET TO THE OTHER SIIIIDE!!!
What do you get if you cross Damian Lillard and a watch?
What happened to Stephen Hawking after he reached Heaven?
Nothing yet. He is still struggling to get up the stairway to Heaven.
Hey, guess what I got for my birthday.
No, what did you get? Older.
There are two muffins baking in the oven. One muffin says to the other, “Phew, is it getting hot in here or is it just me?”
The other muffin says, “AAAAHHH!! A TALKING MUFFIN!”
