Get jokes
One of my earliest memories is seeing my mother's face through the oven window as we played hide and seek, and she said: "You're getting warmer!"
I hate sitting in traffic, I always get run over.
What gets wetter as it dries?
A towel!
What month of the year has 28 days?
Answer: All of them.
If I was a poo, I’d be the one that gets stuck to the bottom of the shitter when no one wants ya xox.
How would Stephen Hawking get rid of the police?
Go to the junkyard.
Katgod, can you get your girlfriend? She's messing with me, and I'm gonna hurt soon.
My name is Devonair.
When I get a haircut, it's always bald.
Kids make fun of me, they call me "dang-near bald head."
My name is Devonair *dev-on-near*
I always thought they were making fun of me because of my name pronounced near.
Kid: How much do you get paid?
Teacher: Minimum wage.
How do you get 50 babies into a car?
You blend them.
What do you get when you put a baby in a blender? An extraction.
Hey babe, I’m looking to get 23 years in 23 seconds, can you help?
What happened to Stephen Hawking after he reached Heaven?
Nothing yet. He is still struggling to get up the stairway to Heaven.
There are two muffins baking in the oven. One muffin says to the other, “Phew, is it getting hot in here or is it just me?”
The other muffin says, “AAAAHHH!! A TALKING MUFFIN!”
How does Stephen Hawking get clean?
He uses Tesco car wash.
Why doesn't the witch wear panties?
To get a better grip on her broom stick!
Why did the cow cross the road?
To get to the Moo-vie theater.
Yo mama so ugly that on Halloween she didn't get candy.
What's the worst part about getting old?
Going to pull up the wrinkles in your socks, just to find out you're not wearing socks!
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to KFC.