Get jokes
Yo mama so fat that you need a jack stand to get her up.
Yo mama so fat that when she gets in the truck, it breaks.
How do you get a squirrel's attention? Act like a nut.
"Dad, did you get a haircut?"
"No, I got them all cut!"
I found the best GoFundMe: https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-get-the-time-machine.
Memes
Weed: *gets hit by his own power*
Cop: Wait, shouldn’t you be resistant to your own element?
Weed: Are you resistant to bullets when you shoot a gun?
Why do men find it so difficult to solve puzzles after taking Viagra?
Because they just keep getting harder and harder!
What did the tower say to the other one?
I will see you later; I am about to get hit.
Why did the rapper go to the dentist?
To get their FILLINGS fixed.
Why did the rapper get kicked out of the library?
Because he was too loud with his FLOW.
Why don't rappers ever get LOST?
Because they always find their way with their GPS (Great Poetic Skills).
Why did the rapper get a job at the bank?
Because he wanted to make some rap deposits!
Why did the rapper go to the dentist?
To get his ICE checked.
Why did the rapper get kicked out of the kitchen?
Because he kept dropping the BEETS!
Why did the rapper bring a map to the concert?
Because he didn't want to get LOST in the FLOW.
Did you get your phone from the desert? No wonder why your texts are always so dry.
Say what you want about Jeffery Dahmer, but he always managed to get a head.
I'm so jealous of babies with anencephaly.
They can eat all the ice cream they want and never get brain freezes.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
The apple gets picked.
A guy gets home from work to see his girlfriend packing, and he asks her why she is packing. The girl says, "Because I found out you're a pedophile." The guy goes, "A pedophile?" And she says, "Yes." The guy goes, "That's a big word for a 12-year-old."