Get jokes

I like men like I like money, always getting lost under my bed.

I would have told you about a chemistry joke, but I wouldn't get a reaction.

What happens if you sit under a cow?

You get a pat on the head.

How did Stephen Hawking get up the stairway to heaven?

Hint: he didn’t.

Why did the scarecrow get an award? He was outstanding in his field. Okay, I'll admit it's corny.

What happens when you eat salmon with Nutella?

You get salmonella.

My diet:

Make all of my friends cupcakes. The fatter they get, the thinner I look...

I have a fear of speed bumps, but I'm slowly getting over them.

This is an inside joke for my friend Caiden...

"Hey, where’d you get that paint from?" "Ha! Paint!"

What time is it when you eat a Christmas tree?

Time to get a new Christmas tree! 🎄

What ankle is getting cut off of school? The lights.

Does anybody know the similarities between a Rubik's cube and a penis?

I don't know the whole answer, but I do know that the more you play with it, the harder it gets.

What do you get when someone named Victoria falls? A Victoria Falls!

Have you ever had duck sausage? No? How about you duck on down and get yourself some!

What's the most expensive haircut you can get? Chemotherapy.

Why can’t orphans play baseball? They have no home to run to.

Get it?

How do you get a baby in a box? With a blender.

Why did the kidnapper cross the road?

To get the kids at the playground.

There was a fish looking for a great meal. He looks above him and sees a fly. He thought, "If that fly drops six inches, I would have a meal." Long story short, a pussy gets wet.

Teacher: "Do you guys want to get in trouble?"

Kid named Teacher: *