Get jokes
Little Johnny is walking around and peeks in his parents' room, catching them having sex. So he asks, "What are you guys doing?" and they reply, "Nothing, nothing! We're just, uh, making cake," and they send him away.
So he continues walking around, and he hears some strange noises coming from his brother's room. He walks in and catches his brother and his brother's girlfriend having sex and then asks him, "What are you guys doing?" and his brother yells, "Get out! We're making cake!"
So Johnny leaves and goes to his room. The next day the whole family is at the dinner table and Little Johnny turns to his sister and says, "So, you and your boyfriend were making cake last night, huh?" and she replies, "OMG! How'd you know!?" and Johnny replies, "Because I licked the icing off the couch."
Dark jokes are like a new day. Suicidal people don't get it.
What's the same about "Make a Wish Program" and "Dark Jokes"?
They never get old.
Don't let an extra chromosome get you down.
So I'm banging the fuck out of this slutty chick, right?
And I'm thinking to myself, "She's PROBABLY got AIDS." So I go and get myself tested and, lo and behold, I'm positive.
This gets me thinking, "Where the fuck does an eight year old get AIDS?!"
"Who has my sister been hanging out with?!"
Memes
When I get naked in the shower, it gets turned on.
A horse walks into a bar.
Several of the patrons quickly get up and leave, realizing the potential danger in the situation.
I was gonna walk up to an emo and say, "Do you get jealous when your phone dies?"
Why buy a pregnant slave over a normal slave? Buy 1 get 1 free. ππππ
Dark humor is like parents, not everybody gets it.
A pedophile lures a group of Houston Girl Scouts with "Hey girls, would you like some candy?" They all agree and follow him to his neighborhood. There he offers them some more candy and they follow him to his house. Once again he offers them candy to go in to his house. In the lounge he offers them candy to go to his room. As he leads them up the stairs one of them pipes up and says "God, I hope we get laid before we get diabetes."
When a midget smokes weed, do they get high or medium?
Why did Sally get to go to Hawaii for free?
She washed up on the beach.
You wanna know how to get rid of potential scam callers?
Next time you get a call from them, just answer the phone and say, "Pizza Hut abortion clinic, where yesterday's loss is today's sauce, how may I help you?"
What do girls and rocks have in common?
The flat ones get skipped.
Why are orphans so good at tennis?
Because thatβs the only love they get.
How do you get a one-armed man out of a tree?
You wave at him.
Why did Wi-Fi and the computer get married?
Because they had a connection.
Michael Jackson gets really ill, so he's rushed to hospital. When they get there, he says, "Am I in heaven?"
The doctor replies, "Nah, sir, we're just taking a quick shortcut through the children's ward."
A man looks at his friend and says, "If you and a friend go camping and you two get really drunk, and in the morning you wake up with a condom in your butt, would you tell anyone?" The friend says in a disgusted tone, "No." So the man says, "Okay, let's go camping."