What does a rock and a girl have in common? The flat ones get skipped
Q: What's the best part about gardening? A: Getting down and dirty with your hoes.
Rape jokes are like your dad's dick. You don't want it but you still get it anyway.
Why was I stress eating on the train track?
To wait to get hit.
I keep getting these letters from this little girl every year on fathers day. I told the orphanage to stop letting her send these.
Dark humor is like water. Some people get it, some people don't.
What did the kid with no arms get for Christmas? A pair of gloves! Nah, I’m not that mean, he’s still trying to open his presents.
I have just started a sexual relationship with a blind woman. It's very rewarding, but quite challenging. -- Took me ages to get her husband's voice right.
What do you get when you cross a pig with a dinosaur
Jurassic park
What's the first thing that a battered woman does when she gets out of the shelter? My last if she knows what's good for her.
Where did Stephen Hawking go when he wanted to get drunk? The Genius Bar.
My favorite sex position is the JFK. I splatter all over her while she screams and tries to get out of the car.
Two gay men walk into a bar, one of them turned to the other and said, hey, what do you say we get out of here?
Why did Vladimir Putin get bad grades?-- Because he was a Russian.
Why don't orphans like to get lost??
Because somebody's going to ask where their parents are.
Your forehead is so big it gets home before you do
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He just stares them down and gets the information he wants.
Where do cows 🐮 get their medicine 💊?
At the farmacy.
How do you get a man with only one arm out of a tree?
Wave.
I was sitting next to this really hot Thai girl on the bus and all I could think to myself was, "Don't get an erection, don't get an erection"... But she did.
