Get jokes
Yo mama is so fat that she got on the scale, and it says, "Lose some pounds before you get on the scale, or it will break!"
Why don’t Mexicans have sex education and driver's education on the same day?
Because the donkey gets tired.
What is the difference between apples and orphans?
Apples actually get picked.
Do you like soccer? My favorite player is Ronaldo, but we can still get Messi.
A kindergarten teacher is chatting with little John. The teacher asks John, "John, can you get me some pencils?" John replies, "Sure, I'll do it!" and accidentally knocks over a vase.
The teacher says, "Oh, John!"
John asks, "What does that mean?" The teacher replies, "It's kind of a synonym for 'You loser!'"
What do you get when you have a class of kids and a speeding car?
A 24 killstreak!
Getting ready for gangbang.
My wife said she would slam my head into my keyboard if I did not get off video games.
But don't worry I think she was just joking.
What did the fat guy say to the tree?
"Get me some coconuts!"
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
So, this woman woke up since she had a bad dream and was yelling about her bad dream. Then, in the bed, her husband woke up and said, "Hey! You just woke me up in a sweet dream!" She said, "Oh, sorry babe." Then she asked him what his dream was about, and he responded like, "I was with a woman; me and her was in the middle of dreamy sex; you just ruined it!" She said, "AAAAh!" He asked her what her dream was about, then she replied as, "I was trying to suck a man's penis, and a cock trying to get cummiee out of it!"
When your boy tries to have a bad day while you're on your period:
Oh, you have a cold? How rude of me. I just laid an egg, and now my body is ripping down the walls of my uterus. But can I get you a tissue?
I saw your mother get into a white Ford Taurus on the corner of Milton and Halliburton, and you're still trying to tell me she ain't got no job cause she "can't get a ride to work?"
POV: Get a banana cleaner and use it as a sex toy.
Q: What do you get from a two-legged cow? A: Lean beef.
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
The apple gets picked!
I did a walk today and walked today to get my car.
You know they say, when you get lemons make lemonade... Well, I took that a little bit too literal.
Turns out squeezing your wife's tits as hard as you can hurts them.
But at least lemonade came out!
Why do people make orphan jokes... their parents will get mad... oh wait, never mind, please continue.
Why can't Indians play football?
Every time they get a corner, they open up a shop. 🙉