Get Jokes

Dark jokes are like a new day. Suicidal people don't get it.

What's the same about "Make a Wish Program" and "Dark Jokes"?

They never get old.

So I'm banging the fuck out of this slutty chick, right?

And I'm thinking to myself, "She's PROBABLY got AIDS." So I go and get myself tested and, lo and behold, I'm positive.

This gets me thinking, "Where the fuck does an eight year old get AIDS?!"

"Who has my sister been hanging out with?!"

When I get naked in the shower, it gets turned on.

A horse walks into a bar.

Several of the patrons quickly get up and leave, realizing the potential danger in the situation.

Achievement get!

The image has the text "How Did We Get Here? Have every effect applied at the same time" at the top. Below this is a list of traits, social stances, and group affiliations of a person named Foxle. Some of these are mutually exclusive, e.g., "Born male, raised female". Some of the entries are "Vegan", "Trans pride", "BLM", "ACAB", "Feminist", "LGBTQIA+", "Hates men", "Stop AAPI Hate", "Bipolar", "Gamer", "#KillAllMen", "#CancelGyms", "#Depressed", "#JusticeForAmberHeard" and "ANTIFA Supersoldier".

I was gonna walk up to an emo and say, "Do you get jealous when your phone dies?"

Dark humor is like parents, not everybody gets it.

Don't let an extra chromosome get you down.

A pedophile lures a group of Houston Girl Scouts with "Hey girls, would you like some candy?" They all agree and follow him to his neighborhood. There he offers them some more candy and they follow him to his house. Once again he offers them candy to go in to his house. In the lounge he offers them candy to go to his room. As he leads them up the stairs one of them pipes up and says "God, I hope we get laid before we get diabetes."

A guy is at home and he's about to go get a physical at the doctor's office. When he gets there, the doctor says, "Brian, you're going to have to stop masturbating." He asked the doc why? The doc said, "So I can examine you!"

When a midget smokes weed, do they get high or medium?

Why did Sally get to go to Hawaii for free?

She washed up on the beach.

You wanna know how to get rid of potential scam callers?

Next time you get a call from them, just answer the phone and say, "Pizza Hut abortion clinic, where yesterday's loss is today's sauce, how may I help you?"

What do girls and rocks have in common?

The flat ones get skipped.

Why are orphans so good at tennis?

Because that’s the only love they get.

How do you get a one-armed man out of a tree?

You wave at him.

Why did Wi-Fi and the computer get married?

Because they had a connection.

Michael Jackson gets really ill, so he's rushed to hospital. When they get there, he says, "Am I in heaven?"

The doctor replies, "Nah, sir, we're just taking a quick shortcut through the children's ward."

A man looks at his friend and says, "If you and a friend go camping and you two get really drunk, and in the morning you wake up with a condom in your butt, would you tell anyone?" The friend says in a disgusted tone, "No." So the man says, "Okay, let's go camping."