When I was little I would pray to Jesus every night for him to get me a new bike, I learned one week in Sunday school that that's not how it works, so instead i just stole one and asked him for forgiveness.
I used to get pushed and called lazy in school
Man, I loved that wheelchair
A child has diarrhea and asked his mom for a viagra. "Why in the world do you want that?" She asked him. He looks at her and says, "Well that's what you gift dad when his shit won't get hard."
I seriously don't get why people in Alabama are angered that Mexican immigrants are taking their jobs. I mean, it's not like they are preventing your son from giving you a big fat blow job.
I had to get my dog 🐶 is it a tree 🌲 was your time and I had fun today after dinner 🍴 I had
Why do you go to the bank. Do get money. When do you Run from the bank. When the cops come.
Why cant homeless people be gay?
They dont have a closet to get out of
What do you get from a dwarf cow?
Condensed milk
Remember, kids: the school shooter can't get you if YOU are the shooter.
What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?
Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why couldn't she get up? She had no friends. Knock Knock (Who's there?) Not Sally...
Why did the cow cross the road? To get to the udder side.
Nobody likes that joke.
what do you call it when you get married in panera bread
panera wed
Why doesn't Barbie ever get pregnant? Because Ken comes in a different box!
Why did little sally fall of the swings? Because she had no arms What did sally get for Christmas? Gloves! Only joking...she still hasn’t opened the box
I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Too get ran over by a truck
Why dont witches wear underwear?
So they can get a better grip on their broom
What do you get when you cross a vacuum and a rooster?
A cock sucker
You wanna know what i want for Christmas? My dad to come back with the milk he said he was gonna get.
