Get jokes
10 years ago my dad went to get milk. He said when he got back, he was going to tell me a joke. That joke better be worth it!
Hey, guess what I got for my birthday.
No, what did you get? Older.
What did Robin say to Batman when they were getting chicken?
Hahaha, I don't know.
What do you get when you cross an eagle with a lion?
A griffin.
I need to get new shoes; one of these isn’t right.
I like men like I like money, always getting lost under my bed.
Do you know a way to really freak out someone that works at a car dealership?
You say, "Tell me if you can hear me," then get in the trunk and start screaming.
what do you get when you play a country song backwards? you get your wife, your house, and your kids back.
According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly.
Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground.
The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible.
Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black.
Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little.
- That girl was hot. - She's my cousin!
Roses are red, my name is Dan...
TDM, I have a gun, GET IN THE VAN!
Jake, Tommy, and Mike were adopted. Jake got adopted, Tommy got adopted, and Mike. Mike grew up to be an office worker. So you get a new job, and hear something about this guy named Mike.
The next day you go into the office and Mike is sitting next to you, with unicorns and rainbows and stuff. Then, a co-worker comes up and says, "No one told you Mike was gonna be this GGGAAAAYYYYY!"
Why did the orphan run into the street? To get to the other side of life.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the idiot's house.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
What did Stephen Hawking get for his B-Day?
Chocolate arm.
What happened to Stephen Hawking after he reached Heaven?
Nothing yet. He is still struggling to get up the stairway to Heaven.
Why don't they put petals on wheelchairs so when our arms get tired, we just use our legs?
My diet:
Make all of my friends cupcakes. The fatter they get, the thinner I look...
Why did the guitar teacher get arrested?
He fingered a minor.
What do you get when you light Stephen Hawking on fire? A fried PC.
What did Batman say to Robin before getting in the Batmobile?
"Get in the Batmobile!"
Buh dum tish.