Get jokes
My life, get it, 'cause I don't got one.
Why was the pregnant cow mad all the time? It wasn’t in for the moo-d.
Tibia honest, it takes a lot of spine to memorize all the bones in the skeletal system. I mean, there's a skele-ton of em! You gotta be boned up for the skeletal system exam, buddy chum pal. Now that was a humerus ribtickling skelepun. Besides, if ya don't know all of the bones in the skeletal system, get boned, fucking numbskull. Did those tickle your funny bone? Now I've been working down to the bone typing these puns, kid. Now if you hate all these, I won't be bothered, I got thick skin! But first, lemme take a skelfie in the skelevator playing my trom-bone. Now, I gotta go to Grillby's. They got a discount on spare-ribs. Bone-voyage, my homeslice breadslice dawg.
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed? Tell them to clap til' their parents get home.
How do you get two deaf people from fighting?
Turn off the lights and walk out.
Why do cemeteries have fences around them? People are dying to get in.
Why didn't the sun get a job? Seriously, I have no idea why. Help me!
Why can't melons get married?
Because they cantaloupe.
Roses are red, I like girls from the South, a 425-pound teacher gets suspended after sitting on a kid's head and farting in his mouth.
What do you get when you have 10 chicken nuggets and little Jimmy tries to take one?
10 chicken nuggets and a dead little Jimmy.
What do you call a chicken with no legs? Ground chicken 🤣💀🐔 Get WRAY'DDDDD!
What did Sally get for her birthday? A football!
Only joking; she hasn't opened the box yet.
What did the orphan get for Christmas?
Lego figures from his friend, but they ran away too.
Why did Sally get a black eye?
Because she tried to play patty cake.
Q: How did Burger King get Dairy Quinn pregnant?
A: He forgot to wrap his whopper 🍆🍔.
It's okay to tell a Stephen Hawking joke if there are stairs in your house he can't get to you. Plus, he shut himself down, so it's all good :)
Kid: Why do orphans like tennis?
Dad: Because it's the only time they get "love."
Me: *gives her 5 dollars* Climb that flag pole. Cute female: *takes the money and goes up the flag pole* Is this good? Me: Hell yeah, that's a nice view.
*Next day* Here's 10 dollars if you do it again. *She goes up there* Me: How's the view? *She goes home and her mom sees the money* Her mom: Where you getting this money? Her daughter: I climbed a flagpole. Her mom: You know he just wants you to see your panties, right? *She goes back and does it again but doesn't wear panties* Me: Holy shit ;-; Her mom: Did you do it again? Her daughter: Don't worry, Mom, he didn't get to see my panties. Her mom:...
There were 5 cows on a farm, one mom and 4 calves.
The first calf goes up to the mom and says, "Momma, why is my name Rose?"
The mother cow replies, "Well sweetie, when you were born, a rose petal fell on your head."
The second calf walks up and asks, "Momma, why is my name Lily?", to which the mom replies "Well honey, when you were born, a single lily petal fell on your head."
The third calf walks up, but before it can get a word out, the fourth calf screams at the top of its lungs. The mother cow yells, "Shut up, Cinderblock!"
If you ever get bored, just punch an orphan in the face. What's he going to do? Tell his parents?