What does a Rubik's cube and a penis have in common?
The more you play with it, the harder it gets.
Get Jokes
Jimmy: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Joe: Why?
Jimmy: To get to the idiot’s house.
Jimmy: Knock knock.
Joe: Who’s there?
Jimmy: It’s the chicken.
What do you get if a disabled person falls off a building? Mashed potatoes.
I have a better method of abortion than currently used. It's like a regular one, except you can get free food out of it... We're about to give baby-back ribs a whole new meaning.
My mom tells me when I get into an argument with her that she brought me into this world and she can take me out. Sometimes I wanna tell her that I can do that for her.
Yo momma's so fat, when she gets in a monster truck, it turns into a lowrider.
"Why are all these orphans here?" said Chris.
"Because their dad went to go get the milk," said MrBeast.
3 Years Later,
"I AM GIVING APPLE IN A SHARE TO EVERY ORPHAN IN THE WORLD, AND I'M ALSO GIVING EACH OF THEM 1000000000000 DOLLARS."
How do you get a million fans?
Just run through Africa with a bottle of water.
Why did the emo get put at the back of the line? He cut himself.
what's the difference between apples and orphans? ... the apples get picked.
What's the quickest way to get to the hospital? Just stand in the middle of a busy road.
What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
What do my dad and Nemo have in common? They both can't be found.
What do you do after raping a deaf person? Cut their fingers off so they don't tell anyone.
MORE JOKES COMING SOON LMAO ;]
Do emo kids get jealous of their phone when it dies?
Why did the orphan cross the road?
To finally get his milk.
What do you get if you cross Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama? A blonde n1gger cunt.
Why does an orphan always get out in baseball?
Because he can't run home.
What do eggs use in war? Eggk47s get my yolk this is really cracking me up!
They’d probably get shellshocked, wasn’t it all eggcellent? Ok, Ok, I’m headed for the egg-it.
Why did the new egg fell so good? It just got laid.
What's worse than dedicating your life to build back the towers? Doing it and getting terrorized for it...
Why did the cheetah get in trouble at school?
Because he cheated on a test.
People have been telling me that you can get things for free now.
The other day I saw a sign saying "FREE PALESTINE."
A woman decides to have a face lift for her 50th birthday.
She spends $15,000 and looks sensational. On her way home, she stops at a news stand to buy a newspaper. Before leaving, she says to the clerk, “I hope you don’t mind my asking, but how old do you think I am?”
“About 32,” is the reply.
“Nope! I’m exactly 50,” the woman says happily.
A little while later she goes into McDonald’s and asks the counter girl the very same question.
The girl replies, “I’d guess about 29.” The woman replies with a big smile, “Nope, I’m 50.”
Now she’s feeling really good about herself. She stops at a candy shop on her way down the street.
She goes up to the counter to get some mints and asks the assistant the same burning question.
The clerk responds, “Oh, I’d say 30.”
Again she proudly responds, “I’m 50, but thank you!”
While waiting for the bus to go home, she asks an old man waiting next to her the same question.
He replies, “Lady, I’m 78 and my eyesight is going. Although, when I was young there was a sure-fire way to tell how old a woman was. It sounds very forward, but it requires you to let me put my hands under your bra. Then, and only then I can tell you EXACTLY how old you are.”
They wait in silence on the empty street until her curiosity gets the better of her. She finally blurts out, “What the hell, go ahead.”
He slips both of his hands under her blouse and begins to feel around very slowly and carefully. He bounces and weighs each breast and he gently pinches each nipple. He pushes her breasts together and rubs them against each other.
After a couple of minutes of this, she says, “Okay, okay... How old am I?”
He completes one last squeeze of her breasts, removes his hands, and says, “Madam, you are 50.”
Stunned and amazed, the woman says, “That was incredible, how could you tell?”
“I was behind you at McDonalds’."
