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What's the difference between an orphan and cotton?
Cotton gets picked.
Yo momma so fat, when she gets in an elevator, it HAS to go down!
What do Michael Jackson and an Xbox have in common?
They both get turned on by kids.
When's the best day to get the chair? Fry-day.
Cemeteries are so popular! People are, like... dying to get there.
A depressed man has been thinking of killing himself, and his friend says, "Find Jesus instead, he'll help you!"
And then the man says, "It's pretty hard to 'get help' from something that doesn't exist."
The good thing about being gay in school is that you can be the best student and still get all the D's.
Why did he die? He forgot to get a new GPU for his new PC.
What's better than having unprotected sex? Getting an abortion.
Yo mama's so fat, her belly button gets home 15 minutes before she does.
If you run next to a car, you get tired, but if you run behind it, you get exhausted.
I'll be here all week... sadly enough for you.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple always gets picked.
Maybe if you get a better hairline, your dad will come back with the milk.
You're so black, when you get near the sun, we go into a solar eclipse.
Yo mamma so fat, when God said, "Let there be light," he was just asking her to get out the way.
What do hookers and porn stars have in common? They get paid for sex and get STD's.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apples get picked.
"Hey, look, that plane is getting bigge-"
A guy and his girl just finished making love.
Just as they lay next to each other, the girl asks, "Have you thought about any baby names?"
The guy then takes his condom off and ties it, and says, "Well, probably David Copperfield, if he gets out of this!"
I was gonna walk up to an emo and say, "Do you get jealous when your phone dies?"