Get jokes
Yo mom's so fat, I went over to her house a few years ago and wanted to watch TV.
So I asked for the TV remote, and she's still trying to get it!
You guys know BeReal?
BeReal? More like cereal.
Get it? BeReal = cereal.
This is why orphans are dangerous with cardboard. They either start eating it or making it into a house and hallucinating that they have a family.
So I threw out the cardboard and said, "You have to stay in reality. Fantasies aren't real. You can't and will never get a home."
Next day, they make cardboard parents, so I threw that away and said, "Pay attention to reality; you will never get parents."
Next day, they start acting like parents and tell me what to do. Again, I said, "Snap to reality. You will never be a parent!" The orphan responded with, "Oh, really?! How so?" I just simply said, "You don't have a house and parents. You literally like eating cardboard, and then you make parents out of it. You like to eat old people!"
You know they say, when you get lemons make lemonade... Well, I took that a little bit too literal.
Turns out squeezing your wife's tits as hard as you can hurts them.
But at least lemonade came out!
Why do prepubescent orphan girls love pedophiles? Because they get to call someone “Daddy”.
What is the difference between apples and orphans?........... The apple gets picked.
What do you call it when Panera Bread gets painted red?
Panera Red.
What do you call it when a man gets high in Panera Bread?
Panera sped.
How do you get an emo kid to jump?
A bridge.
The Twin Towers should've known they were gonna get hit when their mom said, "Here comes the airplane!"
Why do orphans play tennis?
So they can finally get love.
Why did the chicken cross the road?...
To get to the other side.
Why don't Pakis play football? Every time they get a corner, they build a shop.
Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.
Why did Joe get hit by a bus? Sally was driving it.
Where did Sally go during the bombing? Everywhere!
Why did the emo person cross the road?
TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE Haha.
Why did the sexy 12 year old girl with cerebral palsy get raped? Because her parents didn’t have the decency to drown her at birth.
What do a penis and a Rubik's Cube have in common? The more you play with it, the harder it gets.
Q) What’s the difference between an apple and an Orphan? A) Apples always get picked.
Do you know why orphans can't get married?
Because they will never get their parents' blessing.
What store does an orphan always get kicked out of?
Home Depot.