Why did the orphan get arrested for identity theft?
He dressed up as Batman for Halloween.
Get Jokes
What do an orphan and an apple not have in common?
The apple actually gets picked.
Me before: Why do bandanas exist? They're ugly.
Me after seeing your hairline: Oh, I seeee.
Me giving pro tip: Get a bandana LMAO.
A man died and went to heaven. Every time you cheat, you get a worse car.
The first man cheated 5 times; he got a Jeep. The second man cheated 3 times; he got a BMW. The third man never cheated; he got a Lamborghini.
The second man saw the third man sad. He said, "Why are you sad?" The third man said, "I saw my wife with a scooter."
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
One gets picked.
Hello. What can I get you? A knife, mustard, Marella, gorilla?
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
Apples get picked.
Why are orphans bad at baseball? They can't get home.
I was gonna make a joke about sex, but you won’t get it.
A man dies and goes to heaven. When he gets there, he sees an angel standing in the center of a room, surrounded by clocks. The man goes over to the angel and says, "What are these clocks for?" The angel looks at him. "These are lie clocks," the angel says, "every time someone lies, it ticks once. Mother Teresa never lied, so hers is at noon, and Honest Abe only lied twice." The man asks, "Where is Bill Clinton's clock?" The angel smiles, then points up at the fan.
Where do orphans get their stuff from?
The reject shop.
What does one boob say to the other boob?
If we don’t get support, people will think we’re nuts.
What’s the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?
The picture gets hung with one nail, not two.
Did you hear the joke about the baby with cancer? It never gets old.
I was at work and then a little kid came up to me and she said, "What happened to all the parents?" She sounded so confused, so I told her, "It's only yours, kid, they left you on purpose." She cried. I felt bad for a second and thought, oh well, time to get back to my job at the orphanage.
(amazing pick up line) Yoo, what if we got matching tattoos? You get two towers and I get a plane, because I crashed right into your life!
Thank you so much for helping me get to 20 followers! I'm so happy, every time I look at my followers going up, it makes me so happy. I can't wait to keep posting other things on here! <3
My two moods are “I can’t believe I get to be a person” and “I can’t believe I have to be a person.”
Me: I have depression.
Someone: You should get out more! Go outside!
Me: *goes to the beach* Now it's a tropical depression.
How do cows get their milk? The moo market.
