Genocide jokes

What's the difference between genocide and mass murder?

Genocide is racist.

Hitler was a good man because, after all, he did kill Hitler.

If Hitler had a cooking channel: Step one... Turn on the gas.

What had more brains than Hitler? The wall behind him.

Hitler isn’t really a bad guy, after all, he did kill Hitler himself.

Why did Adolf Hitler like nuts? He only had one.

A man comes into the pharmacy to get a flu shot. The pharmacy nurse prepares one of the shots. The man gets the shot, and the nurse cleans the shot area.

The next day, the man comes back and gets another shot. Before he paid, the nurse said, “Don’t you realize if you get another shot you may die from overdose?” The man said, “Don’t you realize if you don’t shut up I’ll give you a shot of lead?” The nurse got scared and quit her job.

The nurse was relaxing, looking for a vacation to book, when all of a sudden she hears an odd noise. It sounds like someone cocking a gun. The man was hiding behind the nurses bushes. “In return for you giving me shots, here are yours,” said the man as he was chuckling like a psycho. The man shot the nurse in the leg so she couldn’t escape, then he shot her left hand, which is the lady’s dominant hand, so she couldn’t call the cops. For the finishing move, the man curb stomped the fucking life out of her until her head was as flat as paper.

9 years later......

All along, this man, this psycho, escaped a mental hospital. He went on mass genocide, killing 20,000 people in just 3 years. This man is more than human, more than alien, more than god himself. It was Satan reborn.

When God made Chinese, he said, "DON'T LOOK!" and the Chinese said, "Why?"

And God replied, "You won't want to be fruitful and multiply if you saw where you are putting that thing."

It turned out the Chinese are very obedient to God.

When God made White Man, he said, "NEVER SHUT YOUR EYES!" and the white man said, "Why?"

And God replied, "You need to keep an eye out for the Chinese, one day they will out number you."

It turned out the Chinese are very obedient to God.

Then the white man said, "There is a white genocide!"

And the survivors of the Holocaust said, "All these Europeans killed each other, so a white genocide is accurate. White killed white."

Then the Chinese said, "Thank you, we take your land now."

And the Jews said, "But we are God's chosen people!"

And the Chinese said, "Yes, every time God show up you get bullied! You might want to worship someone else!"

And the Jews said, "Why are you Chinese so lucky, you can't even see, you blind!"

And the Chinese said, "Jesus say be in the world not of the world, so don't go looky looky at the world then."

It turned out the Chinese are very obedient to God.

What’s the difference between prison and concentration camps?

At least you don’t die when you shower.

When the teacher calls on you and asks you how many people did Hitler kill?

"One, he killed himself."

Say what you want about Hitler, he wasn't all that bad. After all, he killed Hitler.

What's the difference between Harry Potter and a Holocaust victim?

Harry made it out of the chamber.

What do Hitler's gas "shower" and guns have in common? They both kill someone.

What do Indian and Jewish people have in common?

They both avoid the showers at all times.

Why was Hitler kicked out of the Deutsche Tourenwagen Masters?

He could never finish a race.

If you hit a child, that's child abuse.

If you hit a family member, that's abuse.

If you kill either, it's murder for some reason.

If it's a whole family, it's genocide for another reason.

Why does Hitler deserve heaven? Because he killed Hitler.

Why did Hitler turn to genocide after a failed career as an artist?

He never learned to mix the colors.

When a woman removes polish with chemicals, no one bats an eye, but when Hitler removes the Polish with chemicals, suddenly people lose their shit?