I recently became the coach of an orphanage baseball team.
Because I hate dealing with parents.
Why are Americans so good at Rubik's Cubes?
They are skilled at separating colors.
I have a short TRUE story of how I found out my brother was gay and did "it" with his best friend.
When my brother was 12-13 years old, he fucked his best friend and I saw it. I was like 4-5 years old, UNDERSTANDING what "it" stood for at the time. All I heard was "ahh" and "mmm". The only thing that traumatized me the most was when my brother moaned "daddy". I was so traumatized that I told my mother about it, she rolled her eyes and said, "He's probably playing a game with Evan". BULLSHIT... NO YOU DUMBASS. He was playing the game "SEX", more like "GAY SEX".
I even told my father and he said, "I don't understand what you're trying to say". I told him DIRECTLY that I heard my brother say "daddy" to his damn best friend!
I actually got so curious, I opened the door and saw them doing "69". I was blank white after I saw it. I will NEVER forget that he did "it" with his own best friend.. NEVER forget about it.
(just a btw, I still have the image stuck in my head and never forget how YOUNG he was..)
(He ain't no virgin anymore I guess lmfao.)
(MORE STORIES COMING SOON =D)
The Twin Towers are like Jenga; you yell "towers falling!"
Why can't an orphan get 5 stars in GTA? Because they are not wanted.
How are an orphan and baseball different from each other?
A baseball game has a home run.
You know you have twisted humor when you crack a smile when a Minecraft farmer says he separates the white sheep from the colored ones.
What's a priest's favorite toy?
A mute little boy.
Pilot: This is my last flight, everyone.
Passengers: *Clap*
Pilot: I became a pilot for one reason: To conquer my greatest fear.
Flight Attendant: And what is that?
Pilot: Dying alone. *speeds up towards Twin Towers*
Also the Pilot: Now who is ready to play some Jen---
I screamed "Jenga" today when watching the 9/11 documentary.
It's just been discovered that as well as writing a book, Adolf Hitler also wrote one of the first computer games, "Mein Kraft."
I threw a dodgeball at a blind kid and got him out... guess I can say he didn't see it coming!
Wheelchair soccer is just IRL Rocket League. Change my mind.
Why is America so bad at Clash Royale? Because they already lost two towers.
What's an orphan's favorite sport?
Baseball, because they finally have a home.
Why are orphans so bad at dodgeball?
Because no one misses them.
Why can't an orphan play baseball? Because they can't find home.
Once I threw the ball at a wheelchair kid. Now we are playing Rocket League! :D
What's an orphan's favorite toy?
A boomerang because it's the only thing that comes back.
Hello, everybody, it's me, Mariplier, and today I'm going to be balling at Freddy's!
