Galaxy jokes
What do you call a passport for Mandalorians?
A Pre Visa!
Stormtrooper: What should we do with this coffee?
Palpatine: Brew it!
What do you call it when Neil Armstrong started cuming in space?
The Milky Way.
What do you call a person that guards a Samsung store?
A Guardian Of The Galaxy :)
My son, who is into astronomy, asked me how stars die. I said, "Usually from an overdose."
Why couldn't the astronaut put the helmet on his head?
Because he didn't have enough space.
Rey: Join me, Ben, you don't have to be alone anymore, join me.
Ben: But Rey, I've always been solo.
Why can't you tell anyone about space?
Because it's too out of this world!
Why was the Milky Way remembered...
Because it's... DELICIOUS!
Stormtrooper: What should we do about the failed plan?
Palpatine: Screw it.
How did your dad come back with the milk? The Milky Way.
What's bigger than the Milky Way?
Michael Jackson's nose.
What does an astronaut call his ex from space?
SpaceX.
What kind of candy do astronauts eat in space?
Mars bars.
How do planets have a baby?
They have spasex.
How does NASA organize a party? -- They planet.
Which way did the cow jump over the moon?
- The Milky Way!
What do you call expired milk?
The Milky Way.
Last night in bed, I was gazing up at the stars and was thinking to myself, "Where the f*ck is my roof?"
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson decide to go on a camping trip. After dinner and a bottle of wine, they lay down for the night, and go to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend. "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see." Watson replied, "I see millions of stars." "What does that tell you?" Watson pondered for a minute. "Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets." "Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo." "Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three." "Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant." "Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow." "What does it tell you, Holmes?" Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke: "Watson, you idiot. Someone has stolen our tent!"