Furniture jokes
What's the difference between a man and a table?
The table doesn't cry when I break its legs.
Helen Keller walked into a bar.
Then a table.
Then a chair.
How do you fit 4 gay dudes on a stool?
Flip it upside down.
So, a woman gives birth to a child, and the doctor grabs it by the leg and holds it upside down. Then, he starts swinging it around the room, slamming it into the furniture. The mother tries to get up and starts screaming and crying, “Let my baby go, you sick bastard!” The doctor looks at the mother and stops swinging the baby. He is holding it by the left leg and starts chuckling, “I’m just kidding, it was already dead.”
How do you fit 3 gay guys on a barstool? Flip it upside down.
Memes
What time is it when you walk into a wall? Time to get to bed!
What do chairs spend on the most?
Chair-ity.
Why does JD Vance have strained diplomatic relations with Turkey?
He took away their ottoman!
I slept like a log last night... woke up in the fireplace.
I named my dog Syndrome, so when he sits on my couch I say, “Get down, Syndrome!”
A cow is at his friend's house for a sleepover party. Sadly, all of the beds are taken. Where does the cow sleep?
On the COWch (couch).
How many gay guys can you fit on a barstool? 4... if you turn it upside down.
What's the difference between a Mexican and a drawer?
The drawer has papers.
What's the only thing with 4 legs Asians don't eat? A table.
When fat people sit down at a restaurant, and you listen closely, you can hear the chair screaming.
What does a carpenter do after a one night stand?
The second nightstand.
Yo mama so clueless, she sat on the TV to watch the couch.
Q: What do you get when you drop all your potato chips in your couch somewhere?
A: A couch potato. HaHaHa
Did you know that Americans fall out of both sides of the bed?
What did the cow say to the leather chair?
“Hi Mom!”