Furniture jokes
Your mumma so fat she takes up 4 seats of the sofa.
If trees were sentient, they would make their furniture out of bone, flesh, and blood.
Now ain't that cool?
What has four legs in the morning, two legs at noon, and three legs in the evening?
A kitchen chair! Your momma sits in it for lunch, and your dad only manages to reattach one of the two legs that broke off by evening.
What's the difference between a Mexican and a drawer?
The drawer has papers.
Why does everyone like couch jokes?
Because they are sofa-nny (so funny)!
Yo mama so clueless, she sat on the TV to watch the couch.
What did the blanket say when he fell off the bed?
Oh sheet!
What is green, fuzzy, and will kill you if it falls from a tree? A pool table.
What is the chair's favorite person?
A sit-izen.
A guy walks into a bar, then a table, and then a chair.
What do you call a pillow that has been on the bed for 20 years in jail?
A criminal! 😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃
What's an edible part of a wheelchair?
A vegetable!
Why did the grandmother put wheels on her rocking chair?
... she likes to rock and roll lol.
What's the only thing with 4 legs Asians don't eat? A table.
My kitchen was rearranged today. The tables have turned, and the steaks are higher.
Have a sink in your house? Eat it.
Have a mouse in your house? Kill it.
Have a child in your house? MICROWAVE IT.
...just kidding. Now watch this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y5tjtUFL0j4
Q: How do you fit 4 gay men on a bar stool?
A: Flip the chair upside down.
How many gay guys can you fit on a barstool? 4... if you turn it upside down.
I don't understand why people hide under their blankets. It's not like the killer's gonna be like, "I'm gonna kill-....ahh man he's under his blanket."
Yo mamma so fat, she asked for a water bed, and they put a blanket over the Atlantic Ocean.