Furniture jokes
Your mama's so fat when she sat on the toilet, the toilet said, "A, B, C, D, E, F, G, get your fat ass off of me!"
Let's take a look at the Swedish bench for today's game. $12.99 from Ikea.
What do you call a man that has no arms, no legs, and sits in front of your door? Mat.
What did the cow say to the leather chair?
“Hi Mom!”
What's the difference between you and a bench?
A bench can hold a family.
What do you call a funny family of chairs? A sitcom!
Why did the grandmother put wheels on her rocking chair?
... she likes to rock and roll lol.
What is Green and Red and goes round and round?
A frog in a blender.
(this next one is pretty bad, and I don't mean it, so don't get offended)
What's the difference between a Mexican and a park bench?
One can support an average family.
You sat on a chair with Uranus.
What's an orphan's favorite store?
Ashley Home Store.
Manly men go to strip clubs. JD Vance goes to IKEA.
So, there was this cop on the top bunk of a bunk bed.
Another cop walks in and sits on the bottom bunk and the cop on the top bunk bed said, "You're under a-rest."
What's big, green, has four legs, and if it falls out of a tree, it can kill you?
A pool table.
One time I ate a chair.
Riddles not jokes.
What has 4 legs but cannot walk?
What has bark but no bite?
There's a one-story house in which everything is orange. Orange walls, orange doors, orange furniture. What color are the stairs?
What has holes but can carry water?
What is in front of you, but cannot be seen?
What is something you have inside you that is pink, but cannot be seen?
What can you catch but not throw?
And last one:
What can rule, but not command?
Tell me the answers in the comments.
Like 90% of this was from this link: https://parade.com/947956/parade/riddles/
One more thing: Don't google it or search it up, use your brain to answer these.
Ariana Grande agrees with me on something: women belong in the kitchen and bedroom.
You went to the bed store asking for a water bed. They put a pillow and sheets on the ocean.
If trees were sentient, they would make their furniture out of bone, flesh, and blood.
Now ain't that cool?
Yo mama is so dumb, she sits on the TV and watches sofa.
What do I and a brand new chandelier have in common?
One of these days, we’re both gonna be hanging from the ceiling.