What's the difference between a man and a table?
The table doesn't cry when I break its legs.
What is blue and sits in a corner? A baby in a baggy.
When the chair was invented, the inventor's friend wanted to know what it did. The inventor replied: "You might want to sit down for this."
Why did Gemma fall off her bike?
She got hit by a fridge.
A dung beetle walks into a bar and says to another beetle, "Is this stool taken?"
Helen Keller walked into a bar.
Then a table.
Then a chair.
What's an edible part of a wheelchair?
A vegetable!
Why did the man fall off his bike?
Because someone threw a refrigerator at him.
Where did the eye doctor keep all his kittens? On Cat-A-Racks!
A man is sitting in a chair. He is talking to the other friend about what they must cherish.
One says he cherishes his family, the other cherishes his parents, and a man comes in, points at the chair and says, “I CHAIRish my Chair” as he pulls up a chair.
How do you punish Stevie Wonder for bad behavior?
You move all of the furniture around.
Mary Rose sat on a pin. Mary Rose!
What did Stevie Wonder's mom do to punish him as a child?
She rearranged all the furniture.
How many gay guys can you fit on a bar stool? Four, just flip it over.
Chuck Norris has a bear rug in his living room. It's not dead or anything, it's just too scared to move.
I named my dog Syndrome, so when he sits on my couch I say, “Get down, Syndrome!”
I shit on your furniture.
What do you call a funny family of chairs? A sitcom!
What does a carpenter do after a one night stand?
The second nightstand.
A blind man walks into a bar, and a table, and a door, and a staircase.
