Funny jokes

My life, ha ha funny!

Why didn’t the moon eat dinner?

Because it was full! 🌕

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your grandma died, your dad left you too, Now you're living with your old grandma coot. Oh, let's not forget your mom left you, too. You gon' live alone, die alone, with no roses on your casket, too.

What is the similarity between an anti-joke and a clown? Neither are funny.

Enough of the sex jokes! I mean, come on, they are not even funny!

Why did Little Johnny drop his ice cream?

Because he got hit by a bus.

What was so funnyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?

The bomb.

I told my dad that I wanted to go to a college with a 100% acceptance rate and a 50% graduation rate, and he said, "Your mom doesn't count as a college!"

How do you know your sister’s on her period? Your sisters pussy taste funny

I don't have a joke, it's just funny reading them.

Is BB hungry? No, BB-8.

I was at work and a few fat women came up to me and asked for some help.

Later that week, I ran into them on the dance floor. One of them asked me if I wanted to dance. I told her no. The other asked me if I knew what was cracking. I calmly said, "The floor."

Me: If my face looked like yours, I would sue my parents.

Sensei: That’s funny, because when your parents dropped you off at the temple, they got a fine for littering.

Cop: Hehe, that’s funny because I gave them the fine!

I'm bone dry in material, but I have a skeleTON of skeleton jokes. After I tell you all these rib ticklers, you will have a bone to pick with if you didn't find that funny, you outta rip my spine out.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Water.

Water who?

Water you waiting for, just let me in!

Once my cat was playing video games. I was OVERWATCHing him.

I asked him to PAWS the game. He then hissed at me. I was surprised; he usually has a good PURRsonality. He said he YARNED to play the game.

It's really great that you can make fun of orphans, 'cause what are they going to do? Tell their parents?

I got pranked so many times. Once I saw two wheels rolling down the street. I heard this noise. I looked behind me. There's a legless man in a wheelless chair screaming, "HELP! I CAN'T GO ANYWHERE!" but I walked away. I knew it was a prank.

I can't not believe you stupid fucks. This isn't funny. Just like a bunch of cunts not to believe there is nothing can't do.

BTW what do you call a manly woman's cunt? Nothing. Who gives a fuck?

What do you call a funny rapper?

A PUN-ISHER!