Funny jokes

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your grandma died, your dad left you too, Now you're living with your old grandma coot. Oh, let's not forget your mom left you, too. You gon' live alone, die alone, with no roses on your casket, too.

What is the similarity between an anti-joke and a clown? Neither are funny.

Enough of the sex jokes! I mean, come on, they are not even funny!

I can't not believe you stupid fucks. This isn't funny. Just like a bunch of cunts not to believe there is nothing can't do.

BTW what do you call a manly woman's cunt? Nothing. Who gives a fuck?

How do you know your sister’s on her period? Your sisters pussy taste funny

Me: If my face looked like yours, I would sue my parents.

Sensei: That’s funny, because when your parents dropped you off at the temple, they got a fine for littering.

Cop: Hehe, that’s funny because I gave them the fine!

I don't have a joke, it's just funny reading them.

Is BB hungry? No, BB-8.

I was at work and a few fat women came up to me and asked for some help.

Later that week, I ran into them on the dance floor. One of them asked me if I wanted to dance. I told her no. The other asked me if I knew what was cracking. I calmly said, "The floor."

What do you call a funny rapper?

A PUN-ISHER!

I told my dad that I wanted to go to a college with a 100% acceptance rate and a 50% graduation rate, and he said, "Your mom doesn't count as a college!"

What was so funnyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?

The bomb.

Why did Little Johnny drop his ice cream?

Because he got hit by a bus.

Sister, you're ugly.

Other sister: I'm not your reflection.

PS. Sorry if it is not funny.

Q: How do you know it's time for bed at the Neverland Ranch? A: When the big hand touches the little hand.

Q: What kinda bees give milk?

A: Boobees.

Why did the emo swallow the alarm clock?

So he could wake up inside.

Guys, can we change pride month to another month, please? My birthday is in June, and I'm not gay, and my friends keep making fun of me. I think we should change it to March because my brother's birthday is in March, and that'd be funny.

What's an orphan's favorite toy? A boomerang, because it comes back.

What's the difference between an orphan and a corpse?

One of them has someone to mourn them.