Funny jokes
What can’t a person with no arms do: if you're happy and you know it, clap your hands.
Why does your grandma like gardening so much?
Because she loves getting dirty down on her knees.
What is a necrophiliac's safe word?
"I'm alive!"
Dating 101:
Here's what you do:
1. Dinner. 2. Kiss. 3. Movie. 4. Sex. 5. Bring her back home. 6. Get paid 15 bucks for babysitting.
What kind of animal makes a good bottle opener?
A male Duck on Viagra.
Memes
An announcement from your Most High Comrade
What animal has five legs? A pitbull returning from a playground.
Why are mountains 🏔 so funny? Because they’re hill areas, do you get it? They are hill areas, like a mountain is a hill area. It sounds like hilarious, so you get it.
I've tried to like all of your jokes. They are funny 😆 and joshisboss, you are awesome. Keep up the good work 👍!
People: (arguing about stopping orphan jokes since they aren't funny).
Me: (m e h. i d o n t c a r e)
These jokes are a little too explosive, if you ask me.
The popular girl told me, "I bet your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory!"
Two weeks later, she shows up pregnant.
...
I guess her rubber broke too.
Me scrolling through jokes that sum up my life, starts crying.
My friend: What’s wrong?
Me: Nothing, it's just so funny. Lol😂🤣😂
Papyrus: Nyhe heh heh! I got a swim suit! And it even says cool dude!
Sans: I guess now it says pool dude ;)
Papyrus: SSSSAAAAANNNNSSSS!
What do you say to a 1 legged hitch hiker?
Hop in!
A funny joke:
Knock knock. "Who's there?" Who. "Who who?" Ha, who who, you sound like an owl! "Fuck you!"
*funny joke about dicks*
Why do they never serve beer at a math party?
Because you can't drink and derive.
Technoblade: I'm the second worst thing to ever happen to those orphans.
Quackity: What is the first thing to ever happen to the orphans???
Technoblade: Quackity..... they're orphans.
(Disclaimer: not funny xD)
Roses are red.
Violets are blue.
I saw a monkey yesterday, and thought it was you.
Tip for Kindness for the day.
Tip one. Always speak up for yourself.
Yes, letting someone else speak up for you is nice but also speak up for yourself, be brave if a mean bully comes along. Speak up for yourself and others if they need it. Best, Gwen