Funny jokes
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I did a ton of work, a skele-ton.
I'm on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it! 😌
I reached into my pocket and pulled out a rectal thermometer and thought,
"Some asshole has my pen!"
Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like an apple.
Why are skeletons not funny? Because they have no humor. 🤣
Why do depressed people want to kill themselves?
To be loved on the news show for 10 minutes.
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
He didn't have the guts.
Cooper is funny.
Why is the Reaper not funny at all?
Well, he tells dead jokes!
Teacher: I was an orphan as a kid.
Students: Damn!
Teacher: Is anyone missing?
Students: Your parents!
Dating 101:
Here's what you do:
1. Dinner. 2. Kiss. 3. Movie. 4. Sex. 5. Bring her back home. 6. Get paid 15 bucks for babysitting.
Been learning Chinese...
69 is too-can-chew.
When your mama went to Sea World, the whales started singing, "We are family, even though you're fatter than me!"
Do you want to know my motto when I’m bored?
Punch an orphan, who is he going to tell, his mom?
I wonder if any of these people are still alive.
Anyways,
When I arrived at the pearly gates when I died, the guardian asked me how I died. I told him I was just hanging around.
Me and my friend are walking, we see a kid. My friend asks him why he's crying and if he lost his parents. He said, "Yeah." I slapped my friend because we were at an orphanage.
When you're born on 4/20/69...
Me: Knock knock. Bestie: Who's there? Me: Ben. Bestie: Ben Dover? Me: No, Ben vuyictrbjovtfcybugxrrx. Bestie: Omg how did I forget, hi vuyictrbjovtfcybugxrrx!
What kind of animal makes a good bottle opener?
A male Duck on Viagra.