Funny jokes
I finally stopped drinking for good.
Now I purely drink for evil.
Q: what happened when the depressed kid wanted to high five the tree?
A: It left him/her/them hanging.
I heard a neat little trick you can use to have a public pool all to yourself. If you blow a whistle 3 times, everyone will just get out!
I was on a website doing homework, and there was this funny a** commercial banner saying: "Eat a bag of Dick's!" It was the funniest sh*t ever!
What does the SpongeBob intro and a pedo have in common?
Are you ready, kids?🤣
How come your sister is hotter than you? Funny, huh?
There were 1 mom and 3 kids. The first kid comes up and asks, "Why is my name Daisy?" The mom says, "Because when you were born a daisy fell on your head." The second kid asks their mom, "Why is my name Butterfly?" The mom says, "Because when you were born a butterfly landed on your head." Then the third kid yells, "Ahjoejienfkef." The mom says, "Shut up, Brick!"
Innit.
If someone told me to bring up 9/11, they were trying to make a funny joke, but it didn't work.
That one really *crashed and burned*.
I KNOW IT'S MARCH, BUT I THOUGHT OF THIS!
Jingle bells, jingle bells! OH GOD, SANTA FELL!
I guess it's time for Mrs. Claus to go straight down to hell!
Me, an orphan: *laughing at orphan jokes*
Some person: Stop laughing, it's sad to laugh at your pain.
Me, an orphan: That's the funny part, what am I going to do, tell my parents?
What were the candles doing at a birthday party?
Getting lit.
Why do orphans hate school?
No field trips. Parent signature_____________.
Dark humor is like cancer, it's funnier when children get it.
People: (arguing about stopping orphan jokes since they aren't funny).
Me: (m e h. i d o n t c a r e)
My friend in a wheelchair tells a funny joke.
I resist the urge to say that he should become a stand-up comedian.
This joke is so funny, I'll bet you greened (grinned).
Popular guy in class: I am so funny.
Me: Your parents are funny as they made a joke and people are still laughing at it.
Knock knock.
"Who's there?"
Boo.
"Boo who?"
It's just a joke, no need to cry!
My dog once went to Uranus. 🐶🤣🤣🤣
You know, because dogs sniff Uranus? 😂😂😂