Fucked Up jokes

I pulled my kid out of school after a woke teacher taught my six-year-old about pronouns! Yesterday, it was "he/she," today, "they/it," tomorrow, "I/you/we!"

Wait, this is the category "dick." Sorry yours isn't long for yo mama to get fucked up.

A guy is bankrupt, so he gives his son a duck and tells him to go sell it for as much as he can. So the kid goes on the street to sell the duck. A prostitute walks by and says, "I'll fuck you for $10." The boy says, “I would, but I don't have any money.” She says, “Ok, I'll take the duck instead.” He says ok, so they go upstairs and fuck.

The prostitute says, “That’s the best sex I've ever had. I'll give you the duck back and we can do it again.” So they do and he gets the duck back. But when they go downstairs, the duck gets hit by a car. And the guy that hit the duck feels so bad that he gives the kid $25. So when he gets home, his father asks him why he looks so tired. The boy says, well, I got a fuck for a duck, a duck for a fuck, and $25 for a fucked up fuck.

Yo, barber fucked up so bad he had to get a breathalyzer test.

Yo, barber fucked up so bad he pulled out a "Plants vs. Zombies" map and that shii fit perfectly.

Shut the fuck up, you fat bitch. You always like to roast others, but you can't walk up the stairs without passing out, you fat, stupid bitch. And I caught you breaking into someone's house just to steal a piece of candy, fat-ass bitch.

My birthday's on September 11th, I'm gonna turn the fuck up and throw a banger! Then rub my tits in birthday cake frosting!!! WOOOOOOOOO!

Stan says shut the f**k up or sit your ass down on that b***h chair!

In some places in the world, you can't get an abortion even after rape. That's so fucked up.

You serve your time, you get out, and you STILL have to pay child support. What a nightmare.

Whoever invented religions, they fucked up.

We got all kinds of retarded adults believing in mythologies.

Have you ever heard of horchata? Horchata, fuck up!

Rape is no laughing matter. The reason why women are not believed in rape is because of you mother fucking shitbirds with no future who will become drunkards and drug dealers who go broke and live on the street getting hit by a fucking car. Fuck all of you sadists who think this kind of shit is funny, well shut the fuck up. Go jump off a bridge or get hit by car and I hope you fucking sickos die.

Stop rape. Stop rappe. Stop rapibg innocent children and women and men. I am done with rape. I am done with it!

If you feel a lump in your rice, you fucked up.

If you feel a lump in your skin, you have cancer.

Why did I beat up the orphan? Because he was a whiny bitch who wouldn't shut the fuck up.

This is fucked up, my name is Shaylie.

(This is a fucked up pick up line). Are you a building? Because I rate you 9/11.

I asked my mom why dad was so pale and sick. She said, "Shut the fuck up and keep digging!"

Why can't women just shut the fuck up! I hate women. They need to know their place and stay in the kitchen and be baby makers...

What did the blender say to the orange juice?

"What the fuck are you, you are so fucking stupid, shut the fuck up."

What do you call a fucked up mullet? A fullet.