Fucked Up jokes

Pronoun

I pulled my kid out of school after a woke teacher taught my six-year-old about pronouns! Yesterday, it was "he/she," today, "they/it," tomorrow, "I/you/we!"

Birthday

Anonymous · 3 years ago

My birthday's on September 11th, I'm gonna turn the fuck up and throw a banger! Then rub my tits in birthday cake frosting!!! WOOOOOOOOO!

Woman

Cabal101 · 4 years ago

Why can't women just shut the fuck up! I hate women. They need to know their place and stay in the kitchen and be baby makers...

Barber

Mr Clean · 3 years ago

Yo, barber fucked up so bad he pulled out a "Plants vs. Zombies" map and that shii fit perfectly.

Name

shaylie · 4 years ago

This is fucked up, my name is Shaylie.

Foot

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A foot holding a blunt, with text above saying "Gonna get fucked up tn."

Fucked Up memes

Dad

Mynutzzhurtfromlaughing · 4 years ago

I asked my mom why dad was so pale and sick. She said, "Shut the fuck up and keep digging!"

Bro

The Dark Kid · 5 years ago

(Me) Hey bro, tell me a joke!

(My friend) Your mom. *Starts Laughing*

(Me) *Fakes laughs* *then points a gun at him*

At this moment, he knew he fucked up.

Orphan

Orphan kid 72 · 5 years ago

Shut the f*** up, I am an orphan!

Hospital

Anonymous · 8 years ago

He died because of a fuck up by the Hospital. Apparently, the doctor said to the nurse, "You can discharge Mr. Hawking now," so she went to his room and pulled the plug out of his computer.

Orange Juice

George Simons · 4 years ago

What did the blender say to the orange juice?

"What the fuck are you, you are so fucking stupid, shut the fuck up."

Barber

Mr Bean · 3 years ago

Yo, barber fucked up so bad he had to get a breathalyzer test.

Shut the fuck up, you fat bitch. You always like to roast others, but you can't walk up the stairs without passing out, you fat, stupid bitch. And I caught you breaking into someone's house just to steal a piece of candy, fat-ass bitch.

Hairline

Anonymous · 7 years ago

You're do annoying like your fucked up hairline.

Consent

Anonymous · 7 years ago

"Consent is just some fucked up feminist propaganda."

Friend

Lewis Borthwick · 7 years ago

I was staying over at my friend's; for the purpose of the joke, he shall be called Kian. It was 03:00 am and everyone else was asleep when I heard a soft banging on the wall. I left the room to inspect it. Kian lived with his grandad John Hauge; it was thought he had a huge slong.

The banging was getting louder, and so too was my heartbeat. I opened John's door and ventured into the room. John was fully naked. There was a glory hole through the wall where I could make it Kian's ass. This is what I have been waiting for. I rip off my shorts, which Ali G bought for me, and silently moved towards John. I shoved [my] 1-inch wonder in his ear. John furiously turned around and slapped me with his cock, "You little gimp, get on the bed."

Kian came in the room with a 2-litre bottle of Irn Bru. He demanded, "What the fudge are you doing?"

I replied smoothly, "Kian, you tracksuit warrior, you have a camel toe!"

Kian fires back, "Shut it, Paul, you have genital warts!"

John screams, "SHUT THE FUCK UP!"

He then gives us it so rough I can't walk the next day, but [I] feel pleasured for eternity.

By Lewis

Rape

Anonymous · 5 years ago

Please, this is disgusting. This is only men who think that it’s fun to do jokes about rape. It’s really fucking dramatic for a man/woman to get raped, so please just shut the fuck up!