Fruit jokes

A hot dog and a banana had a race. Who won?

The wiener.

What's the difference between fruit and a freshly killed corpse?

I don't eat the fruit.

"Puta, banana in your ear!"

What did the teacher say to the student?

Orange you glad to see me?

What's the difference between a grape and an elephant?

I don't know, what?

They are both purple except for the elephant.

Why did the plum put sugar under its pillow?

So it could have sweet dreams.

What fruit always feels depressed?

A blueberry.

What did the grape say to the banana? "Stop graping me!"

Pineapple goes on pizza.

An apple a day can do so much more than keep the doctor away... it can keep ANYONE away.

if you throw it hard enough.

What did the banana say to the peel?

“Let’s split!”

This disabled kid walked up to me, so I asked what disease he had. He said, "Lima." So I said, "Come again?" And he said, "Lima nuts." And I asked if that was a fruit, and he said, "No, I'm a vegetable."

what did the banana say to the banana?

"u look a-pealing"

If tomatoes are a fruit, does that mean ketchup is a smoothie?

Tyler: What's your favorite fruit?

Frankie: Pineapple duh, what's yours?

Tyler: Pineapple

Frankie: Wanna come over and watch some Netflix? I'm home alone.

Tyler: Absolutely!! What time should I be there?

Frankie: Right now.

Tyler: Sweet! Should I bring a condom?

Frankie: Now enough talk, let's fuck.

Tyler: I thought you never asked.

All these oranges, but you're still the one for me.

They toss and turn to the sound of thunder, but I got watermelon to soothe my slumber!

What do you say when you see an apple dancing in a talent show?

He's got some "sweet" moves!

Fruit is like ex-wives.

They both look really good hanging from a tree.

Applesauce.