Friends jokes

Two friends fighting.

Friend 3: "Cut it out, you two!"

Friend 4: "It wouldn't help if they cut it out... Believe me... I've tried..."

Last night I shared a bed with two of my friends because we were in a small hotel. We had strange dreams last night.

My friend on the left dreamed of getting a handjob.

So did my friend on the right.

I had a dream of skiing.

My friend said he saw a blind man. I said, "Did he LOOK nice?"

The orphan's best friend wanted to meet his family, so he took a selfie.

Why did the deer cross the road? Its friends deered it to.

Little Johnny came running into the house and asked, “Mommy, can little girls have babies?”

“No,” said his mom, “Of course not.”

Little Johnny then ran back outside and his mom heard him yell to his friends, “It’s okay! We can play that game!”

A friend took me out to his shed and was showing me all his tools, when he pointed to a ladder. "That's my step ladder," he said. "I never knew my real ladder."

TJ's hairline is so far back, his friends don't even want to talk to him.

TJ's hairline is so far back his friends don't even want to talk to his ugly ass!

Hii! Oh my gosh. It has been forever! How have you guys been? Comment your favorite movie!!!! <3

Why are the two friends like the Twin Towers?

They fell apart.

What does a gun and gum have in common?

When you pull one out, everyone wants to be your friend.

Say this to your significant other (or your weird friends!)

Are you an unsafe staircase? 'Cause you look like you could use a railing.

Anyone wanna chat? I'm new and don't know many people.

My friend Enyaw is gay, she is a cunt.

Bro, the Twin Towers are like my grandpa and his friends. One survived—my grandpa. The others have fallen—his friends.

What do guns and gum have in common?

When you pull one out, everyone wants to be your friend.

Your friend is so fat, when he took the group pic, he was the background.

Me: What's the fifth month of the year?

Friend: May.

Me: May deez nuts fit in your mouth?

Me: How do cowboys say hello?

Friend: Howdy.

Me: How do deez nuts fit in your mouth?