Friends jokes

Your friend is so fat, when he took the group pic, he was the background.

Me: What's the fifth month of the year?

Friend: May.

Me: May deez nuts fit in your mouth?

Me: How do cowboys say hello?

Friend: Howdy.

Me: How do deez nuts fit in your mouth?

Why do orphans only have 363 days in a year?

Friend: Why?

Me: Because they don't have a mother or father's day.

What do emos do when they meet up?

They hang out.

"If you yeet one thing that has been yoted, the yeet gods will help you" - Chris Tyson, MrBeast's friend, and your mom >:)

My friend was in Afghanistan when he saw someone got shot, and then they bombed him. Now he called them the "Talkwakers."

My friend said that his book was getting boring and that he's gonna kill off some characters.

I asked him what his book was about and he said, "Oh, it's an autobiography."

Ahaha, I'm laughing because my friend is so black his mama killed the clown.

Once my friend saw my wrist, slapped it and said "I like ya cuts, G!"

I just did a test to see who my soulmate is, and it said "best friend." So I guess I am gay. I think so, WTF.

My mates threw nuts at the wall, now we call them walnuts.

Hahaha :)

I would like to tell you the name of a song I showed to my friend who had an overdose of LSD.

I see a dreamer.

I would like to tell you the name of a song I showed my friend who was on LSD. "I See a Dreamer."

Hi my sweet friends! This is for everyone who needs help right now :)

To Tina: Hi, love, you're my oldest and dearest friend. I will love you for as long as I live. I luvv you so much, my sweetest, dearest darling.

Are you my friend?

Because I would make you more than that.

Neona (😞): Are you mad at me?

Gwen (😌): Me? NEVER! Sometimes we listen and don't listen, let's just hug it out!

Neona (😁): Agreed!

Me: Yo wanna play 9/11?

My Friend: What’s that?

Me: It’s a game where I kick you in both legs and watch you fall.

Friend A: "Why are you still a virgin, bro?"

Friend B: "I was until last night."

Friend A: "Nah, nah, who with?"

Friend B: "Your sister."

Friend A: "I don't have a sister."

Friend B: "Just wait 9 months, you'll see."