Friends jokes

My mates threw nuts at the wall, now we call them walnuts.

Hahaha :)

Ahaha, I'm laughing because my friend is so black his mama killed the clown.

You have to tell this to a friend:

There are 30 cows in a field. 20 ate 28 chickens. How many didn't? A: 10

Why is no one friends with Dracula? Because he's a pain in the neck.

What’s the hardest part about being friends with a turtle?

Getting them to come out of their shell.

My friend nearly drowned in her bowl of muesli the other day. She was pulled in by a strong "currant."

Admins, if you are seeing this, please look in the comments of https://worstjokesever.com/jokes/5d521e61d3e53a06d27bc361/why-are-you-censoring-my-friend-franz.

I'm sorry.

I would like to tell you the name of a song I showed to my friend who had an overdose of LSD.

I see a dreamer.

Who was Goldilocks' best friend?

Goldie.

Friend A: "Why are you still a virgin, bro?"

Friend B: "I was until last night."

Friend A: "Nah, nah, who with?"

Friend B: "Your sister."

Friend A: "I don't have a sister."

Friend B: "Just wait 9 months, you'll see."

My friend is so short, whenever I dance with her, it’s like dancing with a golf tee.

"A friend with weed is a friend indeed."

Bro, is your hairline and your forehead good friends because they go way back?

How does a skeleton call his friends?

On the tele-bone!

You are recently injured because of your job as a driving instructor, so you couldn't go on vacation with your friends.

Your friends tell you that they have an Asian pilot.

You realize, "They have a -1% survival rate!"

I added Paul Walker on Xbox...

But he spends all his time on the dashboard.

I was playing chess with my friend and he said, “Let’s make this interesting.” So I took away his towers, and he took away my queen.

What did the Japanese man say to his friend after he killed somebody?

"That is very Wong."

Did you hear about the young man who brought floral arrangements in the shape of a life jacket on his friend’s funeral who drowned last week?

Everyone was furious, but he explained, “It’s what he would have wanted.”

My cousin just broke up with his girlfriend, and I told him, "Since your dad owns a moving company, you can already take half of her stuff."