My friend said that his book was getting boring and that he's gonna kill off some characters. I asked him what his book was about and he said "Oh, It's autobiography."
Once my friend saw my wrist, slapped it and said "I like ya cuts g"
I just did a test to see who my soulmate is and it said “best friend “ so I guess I am gay. I think so WTF
Ahaha I’m laugh because my friend so black his mama kill it the clown
Why is no one friends with Dracula? Because he's a pain in the neck.
Me: what’s the definition of “ignorance” Friend:don’t know? Me:U STUPID
you have to tell this to a friend- There are 30 cows in a field 20 ate(28) chickens how many didn't? A: 10
Some guy come to me and said I'm your dad friend.. he ask me to pick you up.. *Laughing freaking hard* and told him you dig the grave?
How do you get a squirrel to be your friend? Act like a nut.
A friend asked what an acorn is. I said, “In a nutshell, it’s an oak tree.”
My friend’s neighbor’s house is a real pigs tie. There are hogs everywhere wearing neck garments.
I pushed my best friend's chair in class, now i kinda feel bad that he was in a wheelchair.
Me: I need a good roast. My friend: take me
My friend has glasses and we were talking about owls, and i told my friend to give a owl glasses. i told my friend that it'd be a spectacled owl! (`~look up spectacled owl~`)
why should you always be a friend with and emo kid. they always hang around
Why can't orphans go to a friend's house.Because they can't make themselves at home
It’s sad how my friend was struck from the medical register for sleeping with a patient. He was a great vet.
Me and my friend roasting each other, Him: Your dad dropped you on purpose but my dad dropped me by accident. Me: But after dropping you he never picked you up
Why can't an orphan be friends with Dom toretto?
Dom doesn't have friends he has "family"
why do orphans only have 363 days in a year? friend :why? me: because they don't have a mother or fathers day
