Friends jokes
What do guns and gum have in common?
When you pull one out, everyone wants to be your friend.
Your friend is so fat, when he took the group pic, he was the background.
Me: What's the fifth month of the year?
Friend: May.
Me: May deez nuts fit in your mouth?
Me: How do cowboys say hello?
Friend: Howdy.
Me: How do deez nuts fit in your mouth?
Some guy came to me and said, "I'm your dad's friend. He asked me to pick you up."
*Laughing freaking hard* and told him, "Did you dig the grave?"
Memes
How do you get a squirrel to be your friend?
Act like a nut.
A friend asked what an acorn is.
I said, “In a nutshell, it’s an oak tree.”
My friend’s neighbor’s house is a real pigsty. There are hogs everywhere wearing neck garments.
Not a joke: one of George Floyd's criminal friends shot his grand-niece as they wanted a piece of the 27 million dollars
I pushed my best friend's chair in class. Now I kinda feel bad that he was in a wheelchair.
Me: I need a good roast.
My friend: Take me!
My friend has glasses, and we were talking about owls, and I told my friend to give an owl glasses. I told my friend that it'd be a spectacled owl!
Why should you always be friends with an emo kid?
They always hang around.
My mates threw nuts at the wall, now we call them walnuts.
Hahaha :)
Ahaha, I'm laughing because my friend is so black his mama killed the clown.
So I went to my friend's house and he told me to make myself at home, so I kicked him out. I don't like visitors.
Why can't orphans go to a friend's house?
Because they can't make themselves at home.
Why do orphans only have 363 days in a year?
Friend: Why?
Me: Because they don't have a mother or father's day.
It’s sad how my friend was struck from the medical register for sleeping with a patient.
He was a great vet.
My friend is upset with me because I sniffed his grandmother's nickers. Not sure if it was because she was still wearing them or if it was because the whole family was watching. Either way, the rest of her funeral was really awkward.