Friends jokes

My crush's best friend came up to me and called me my crush's dog 🐕, so then I say, "Wow, you're an ass for calling me a bitch." He then looks at me wide-eyed, and I just walk away.

It's important to have a good vocabulary. If I had known the difference between "antidote" and "anecdote," one of my best friends would still be alive.

Who's Paul Walker's close friend?

Tree.

Person: My left ear is ringing.

Friend: Then answer it!

Me walking away after committing murder in a school with my trusty “friend”.

My Emo friend was coming over to my house. When he got there, he said, "Got a rope?" I asked why, and he said, "I want to make a swing."

Friends, gather here.

Samantha, Josephine, Stevie, Jess, Alice, and Alex.

One would think Dracula would have a lot of friends. Unfortunately, no one likes him. He is a pain in the neck.

I have a friend who doesn't have a dad.

He says: "You're useless, go to hell!"

Me: "Wait, why do you want me to join your dad?"

You say this to your friend, "Damn, your nuts are bigger than mine!" *thinks the wrong way*.

Friend: I must order more nuts.

So my friend died. I was at her casket. I said I'll see you on the other side, so I went to the other side of the casket.

My friend is an emo. I asked why he wears black. He said, "Black like my soul." I just walked away.

You are like Papa.

Friends don't lie.

My friends' titties are bigger than my sakuras.

My emo friend got jealous when my phone died.

What do you call a group of emo kids? Suicide squad.

Me: What do you call an orphan?

Friend: Homeless.

My friend said not to look down on me. I said I can't because I'm shorter than her.

Most of his Taliban friends have more wives than teeth.

You're so fat that when you go on a walk with your friends, it looks like they are orbiting you.