Confucius say: "Gay man who take far, far away trip, hates to leave friends behind."
Friends Jokes
My friend: I want to cut myself.
Me: No, don’t do that. *hands lighter* Do this instead.
Okay, what do you call that purple thing in your mom's top dresser drawer that she calls her best best friend for some weird reason?
Dad better look out from Bob, battery-operated boyfriend, hahaha!
Your hairline and forehead must be friends, because they go way back further than the universe.
Friend: You know how I like my women like my coffee... hot.
Me: What if you don't like coffee? :(
Three good friends decided to meet in their favorite caffe.
The meetup was a successful one, because they all enjoyed themselves.
My friend tried to sleep on napkins.
I guess that's why they're called NAP-kins.
Friend: Do you know him?
Other Friend: Know who?
Friend: My dick!
Last night I slipped on a banana.
My friend said it was a-peeling!
Me: No one likes Shrek; he is just a fat green guy.
Friend: Hey! Stop talking about me.
From the wise words of my friend, "You ain't a man 'til you had a man."
I can't believe my friends. They killed themselves without me!
What do cells call their friends with? A cell phone.
My friend told me I should be a stand up comedian but... I prefer sitting.
What do you call your retard friend?
A homie with an extra cromie.
My friend was getting bullied so I went over and asked him to stop. It went a little bit like this:
Me: Dude, leave her alone. Him: Beat it, b*tch. *lots of arguing and swearing* Me: Ya know! The smartest thing that ever came outta your mouth was probably a penis. Him: *walks away*
Friend: Hey, let me give you a little riddle. There's a table [for] four people who are supposed to sit [at]. There is you, me, Will, Mary. In which order will they sit?
Other friend: Uhm, you, me, Mary, and Will?
Friend 1: Nope, guess again!
Other friend: Okay, what about "Will you marry me?" Oh, wait...
Friend 1: Of course!!!! :D
A young boy was talking to his friend about his family:
"My great-grandfather fought against Napoleon, my grandfather fought against the English, my father fought against the Americans, and my uncle against the Argentinians."
The friend replied: "It seems that your family can't get along with anybody!"
One time a crow saw a peacock and then wanted to be like a peacock, so he picked up peacock feathers and then wore them.
Then he starts walking and everybody thinks he's strange, and then his friends are not his friends anymore, and then after that he says, "Friends, please be my friends again. I'm sorry, I will be the way I am."
A young boy was talking to his friend about his family:
"My great-grandfather fought against Napoleon, my grandfather fought against the English, my father fought against the Americans, and my uncle against the Argentinians."
The friend replied: "It seems that your family can't get along with anybody!"
