So I went to a church the other day and I asked my friend is that painting of Jesus and is it through the wall with one with three nails Oh wait I wasn’t even Jesus he’s not doing the T post that he invented
my friend: you really need to stop the sh jokes Me: But their not that long
Today Me and My Best friend went to the Grand Canyon. He was taking up all the space by the edge and i told him to back up, R.I.P to him.
Yea man! Life is wonderful! But, when u realise all of the ones u loved we're fake. And when you die, does your online friends notice? How will they notice? Or will they ever notice. Is 13 age too young for dying? Am i just paranoid? I'm scared.
A Priest and a Rabbi walk into a bar. These two have been great friends for over 20 years...play golf together...and meet every Tuesday at a classy bar for a glass of wine...talk about golf...good wine and spiritual matters. One day while at the bar enjoying a glass of merlot, the Rabbi raises his glass of wine and says to his long time friend.."brother, do you believe Jesus turned water into wine?"...the Priest thinks for a moment and raises his glass of wine and replies..."yes brother, I do believe Jesus turned water into wine...but don't get excited...since Jesus was Jewish, the wine was probably Manischewitz "
Me: a lot of things changed since I got my wife pregnant. Friend: like what? Me: my name, my address, my phone number...
I used to work for a company called 69, my friend took over my position.
I have double standards, burn a body at a crematorium and you're being a respectful friend; do it at home and you're destroying evidence.
I visited my friend at his new house. He told me to make myself at home. So I threw him out. I hate having visitors.
I was playing Mortal Kombat with my friend when he picked the fighter Pristiano Penaldo. I won and the voice didn't say "Finish him", so i couldn't do a fatality. I was confused but i understood that the game didn't let me finish him because he is already finished.
I was at school today and one of my friends said after a test man that was hard. After that I started laughing and I said that’s what she said.
Hey don’t Orpheus have friend because the people do have family
boy: "why cant you get a family" me: "why cant you get a rope" boy: "wdym" friend and me: "we can show you" me: "i will tie the rope" friend: "i will push the chair"
Me: I need a good roast. My friend: take me
Dwarfism is a growing problem.
Kidding that’s not funny my friend died of dwarfism.
He jumped of a kurb stone.
im bored if you want to friend me in roblox my username is Talitha95g and my nickname is talithafromamirica
My friend is so ugly she got surgery twice but not even that could fix her 0-0
A kid tell me he was gonna f$&k my mom on Fortnite! So I toldhim I was gonna double pump his mom untill she was wet like moisty meyers
like if your not A GAY
dislike if your furry
repost if you HATE blacks
omment for VBUCKS
sub to me on youtube its my friend and he has aids send himjoeide53rygq2ej/le nb rfcshsu 3nurtv N3Q5UERIUGWTC7w2VWGYEHIWAWASERYAANFYINSIDEFREHJOBUGFUYWUSGRFYDIDYFRG911
dang... if i could rearrange the alphabet i would put D IN U ;)
i only know there is 25 letters in the alphabet, i don't know Y.
(mE: how many letters are in the alphabet?) -- (friEnd: 11- T-H-E-- A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T)
(mE: there are 20 letters in the alphabet, right?) -- (crUsh: no. there is actually 26) -- (mE: oooOoh, i forgot u r a q t ! so its acdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz?) -- (crUsh: you forgot the D) -- (mE: thats not needed yet ;] )
what letter is really hot? T
C = cOCK O = CoCK C = COcK K = COCk COCK = cock cock = COCK
ME SExUAL SRrY LoL
A boy and his friend were walking down the street.
Boy 1: Bro, you still got my Nikes? Boy 2: Ye, sorry. I got em dirty. Boy 1: Please clean them, we have school tomorrow.
Boy 2 got back to his house and decided to clean his friend's shoes. After he finished drying them, he got stuck in his painfully small dryer. Then he remembered his brother needed something from the dryer. So he tried to get out, when his brother came in.
He came in twice.
(like if u understand)
