Found Jokes

A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were all lost in the desert. They found a lamp and rubbed it. A genie popped out and granted them each one wish. The redhead wished to be back home. Poof! She was back home. The brunette wished to be at home with her family. Poof! She was back home with her family. The blonde said, "Awwww, I wish my friends were here."

I was outside digging a six foot hole, when I found a treasure box with jewels and shiny gems! I almost went inside to tell my wife, then I remembered why I was digging the hole

A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.

9/11 isn't something we should joke about. Some people can remember where they were when they found out. I'll never forget where I was when I found out. It was 9:37, September 10th, 2001, I was in a cave in Iraq when my friend Mohammad told me.

When the C.I.A. raided Osama Bin Laden’s house, they found steam on his computer this means he was a gamer. He raged a little too hard and went for New York.

BFF:DUDE, COME OVER TO MY HOUSE RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!

Me:What no way its 2:58 am

BFF:but i just found my brothers secret stash of oreos!!!!!

Me:I'll be over in 5 minutes

You know, being a bitch is hard...but i found the person who's up for the challenge...You

Tigger was playing hide & seek so he looked in the toilet but all he found was pooh

A Blonde was down on her luck. In order to raise some money, she decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom. She went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and told him, "I`ve kidnapped you." She then wrote a note saying, "I`ve kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and put it under the pecan tree next to the slide on the north side of the playground. Signed, Blonde." The Blonde then taped the note to the kid`s shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents. The next morning the blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the pecan tree. The blonde opened the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, "How could you do this to a fellow Blonde?"

one time I walked in to a room and I saw a man and a dwarf and I soon found out that the man was the dwarfs father and I noticed that the dwarf really looked up to him

Most people say I'm a clown. Yet they don't laugh at my jokes. Most people avoid me, because I'm a "clown". Yet I'm not the center of the circus. But I know I'm gonna be a clown forever. Because I can't take this damn mask off, no matter how hard I try.

Weeks later: Finally I found out why I'm being called a clown...because my smiling face is fake...

A recent study has found that beer contains female hormones

A test group of 100 male volunteers each consumed six pints of beer, and the effect was they all talked endlessly about nothing and couldn’t drive for shit

wanna see a joke i found? *show mior*

Everybody is mad cause that guy from Alberta punched a girl in a wheelchair. I think he was upset because he found out his sister was cheating on him.

I followed the sun for a day (stood there at noon) found my self at the same stop.

Technoblade: makes jokes about orphans while in hospital

Doctors to Technoblade's dad: Sorry for your loss

Technoblade: What do you mean?? I'm right here!!

Orphans found parents: Who's he talking to??

Papyrus:Sans can you call Undyne for me and tell her that I found a human! Sans:Sure bro lemme just get on the Tele-bone Papyrus:Ssssaaaaannnnsss!!!!!! Sans:yea bro Papyrus:You know what I will tell Undyne instead.

(Not originally my joke, I found this joke somewhere a few months back) An Emo kid in a tree falls, at the same time an apple falls from the same tree, what hits the ground first? The apple would be due to the kids rope and noose.