Found Jokes

Being insest isn't that bad, I was fingering my sister and I found my dad's old wedding ring. winner winner!

they found out that michael jackson was transgender, he went from he/him to hihi

Stephan Hawking went bankrupt after he found out somebody in his house was costing him way too much money on electricity bills He just couldn’t figure out who

What does Nemo have in common with my dad?

They both cant be found

A man had moved to a new contry with his dog and with basic understanding of the language. One day he heard people talking about a place for dogs, so he took his dog there telling he wanted his dog to be groomed. The man behind the counter responded with "yes happy dog, come back in little hours" so the man left and came back a couple hours later when he asked about his dog he was given a box of jerky he found out "happy dog" was the name of the place where dogs become food.

I was outside digging a six foot hole, when I found a treasure box with jewels and shiny gems! I almost went inside to tell my wife, then I remembered why I was digging the hole

9/11 isn't something we should joke about. Some people can remember where they were when they found out. I'll never forget where I was when I found out. It was 9:37, September 10th, 2001, I was in a cave in Iraq when my friend Mohammad told me.

A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.

True Story

A CO was receiving inmates as they're being recalled from their assigned jobs to prepare for count. An inmate that had passed the officer returned bleeding through his trousers from his crotch. The inmate had an argument with his lover who had told him that he wasn't enough woman for him. As the inmate was bleeding he was crying out. "He doesn't love me anymore!!" The officer called for medical assistance and went into the assigned cell. He found the severed penis. He fished it out of the toilet and placed it in a plastic bag with ice. He claimed that the medical staff at the hospital could reattach it. He took a ribbing from his fellow officers, because ,most would've flushed it. I retired and months later saw a fellow officer at the store. As we caught up, I mentioned that the last incident I responded to was 'the severed penis' the officer tells me that the inmate severed his penis again after it was reattached and flushed it himself.

When the C.I.A. raided Osama Bin Laden’s house, they found steam on his computer this means he was a gamer. He raged a little too hard and went for New York.

Why did the orphan start crying

Because his apple found a home in his stomach

BFF:DUDE, COME OVER TO MY HOUSE RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!

Me:What no way its 2:58 am

BFF:but i just found my brothers secret stash of oreos!!!!!

Me:I'll be over in 5 minutes

You know, being a bitch is hard...but i found the person who's up for the challenge...You

Tigger was playing hide & seek so he looked in the toilet but all he found was pooh

one time I walked in to a room and I saw a man and a dwarf and I soon found out that the man was the dwarfs father and I noticed that the dwarf really looked up to him

Do you know what I found in my letter soup?

A space.

wanna see a joke i found? *show mior*

My wife and I’s gay marriage counselor advised us to watch porn together. So, we decided try it out one day and search up lesbian shemale porn...

And that’s the day she found out she was a porn star.

Brother 2(1): We have these weird circles on the street! Government is trakin' us!!! Brother 1: They are just to sense cars so they can change lights. And its the government. Brother 2(1): Then why are there two in the left turn lane Brother 1: So 1 car isn't always going left and stopping the others. Brother 2(1): Then why are they 1 car apart. Oh to have 3 people going. Brother 1: Correct. When i see 1 car on the first. i go on the 2nd so my light changes. Brother 2(1): You monster. Brother 1: I wonder if they trigger by weight? Brother 2(1):HA. yo mama would trigger the sensor. Brother 1. ARG. its OUR MAMA your disrespecting. Mother (brother 1):whats going on boys? *looks in mirror* HOLY SH@& SHE IS PRETTY! Brother 2(1): i think you should take your pills. Brother 1: found them. *imaginary mother and brother fade away* thank you ELECTROBOOM for inspiring this joke/sh!t. Go subb to him. btw the (1) means it is just imaginary brother one acting like another brother.