Found jokes

My mother caught me jerking off and she told me to leave it out. I didn't know what she was doing but she grabbed my cock and started sucking. Then I found out on porn she was doing deep throat.

A couple of weeks later my dad caught me jerking off, I thought he would deep throat, but he just walked up to me and slapped my boner. I cried for 5 hours. Luckily my mum gave me a sloppy joe afterwards.

Dad: Hey son, wanna hear a joke?

Son: Sure thing, dad!

Dad: Your mother and I are getting a divorce. She found out that I was sleeping with the neighbor's dog!

Son: I don't get the joke, dad.

Dad: It's my life, son! My life is the joke.

Let me tell you a story.

There once was a bro who constantly choked on chodes.

He didn't want his bros to ever know that he constantly choked on chodes.

He lived in a dorm, and all day he watched porn, but still he would suck on some corn.

One day he would go to choke on some tasty chode, but his bros found out, gave him a shout, and kicked him out yelling that he broke the bro code.

Yo bro, look at this twig I found on the floor. Wait...

My gardener found a dead body. Of the old gardener!

I just found out that there is a racist stereotype about Asians being bad drivers, which isn't true... but if it is, then maybe Pearl Harbor was just an accident.

What's the difference between Nemo and my dad?

Nemo was eventually found.

What were Steven Hawking's last words?

Error 404 File Not Found.

I just found out I'm colorblind. It came out of the yellow.

A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were all lost in the desert. They found a lamp and rubbed it. A genie popped out and granted them each one wish. The redhead wished to be back home. Poof! She was back home. The brunette wished to be at home with her family. Poof! She was back home with her family. The blonde said, "Awwww, I wish my friends were here."

"Ring Ring! Hi, I've been needing to call you. Your hairline has been found by Dora after 25 years!"

When China built the Great Wall, the Mongols invaded them and founded the Yuan dynasty. With Trump building his wall, will the Mexicans invade the US and found the Juan dynasty?

On Paxomedy channel, I made a video of a Rooster and a dog fighting.

I needed to know why they were fighting. Once I dug down into the issue, it turned out that the Dog called the Rooster a Cock, and the Rooster laughed and called the Dog a useless Bitch, and that was the beginning of their fight, and weird enough, the Cock won!

I went to congratulate the winner, but he thought he was insulting me by calling me Zinjathropus, but I said that was a compliment because Zinja was an old skeleton found in Africa, and I am African. I said to the Rooster he shouldn't have fought with the dog just because he called him a Cock. He said that being called a Cock is a compliment, and the fighting was his exercise to toughen up for serious fights with Dogs!

What does Nemo have in common with my dad?

They both can't be found.

You know, being a bitch is hard... but I found the person who's up for the challenge... you.

I was hunting at night for deer, and then I found one and shot it. I realized the deer I shot was actually my ex...

I comforted my friend about his wife's death, until I found out who did it.

One man's trash is another man's treasure, he said when he found out his parents split up and he is being adopted.

What's the difference between my dad and Nemo?

I don't know. I still haven't found them.

Astronauts just found water on Mars! Mars: 1. Africa: 0.