Force jokes

What happens to Mary Poppins when the wind dies down?

*Mary Poppins seen falling in background*

What's the difference between Jedi and a rapist?

Nothing, they both use the Force to get what they want.

What is your arm's favorite military branch? The army.

What's 12 inches long, red, and when I force feed it to my wife, she cries?

Her miscarriage.

What's the difference between me and a rapist?

He forced her, while I convinced her with a candy.

She was just 7 years old.

What do you call a nervous Jedi?

Panakin.

How do you get a woman to give head? Force it down her throat and hold the back of her head. Make her gag for a little and then pull out. Do this over and over for 30 seconds or so. If she doesn't open up, choke her and force her mouth open.

Woman aren't human anyways... lol.

What gives you the power to walk through a wall?

A door.

Three women—a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead—are riding through the desert on a dune buggy. About two hours later, their vehicle dies with no gas, and they're forced to travel to their destination on foot, but they all agree to carry something with them.

The brunette brings canteens of water.

The redhead takes a large beach umbrella.

The blonde somehow rips off the car door.

The redhead asks her, "Why did you take the whole car door?"

To which the blonde replied, "So I can roll down the window in case it gets too hot."

I’d make a rape joke, but I don't wanna force that on you too.

Why does the Jedi never join the dark side?

If they did, then they would lose the opportunity to molest young padawans.

Every time a Light Saber goes off, it's just a Jedi Master getting hard over a kid. Lol.

I would try to stop rapists, but force would be an option for it.

What’s the difference between a bank vault and you aunt's anus?

The owner of bank vaults don’t force you to penetrate it.

What do you call Darth Vader when he dies?

A black alien.

What did Yoda say to Luke during his wedding ceremony?

"May divorce be with you."

Stormtrooper: What should I do about my overdue library book?

Palpatine: Renew it!

Why is Newton not allowed to visit local farms?

The owners know that forces come in pears.

My girlfriend left me today for spending my own money. What a bitch! I spend a fair amount of money on her for her clothes and Air Force Ones, but as soon as I spend $100 on hookers, she leaves me.

What does broccoli and sex have in common?

If you were forced to have it as a kid, you’re gonna hate it as an adult.