Fish jokes
What do you call a fish and a guitar?
Tunafish.
Adam and Eve were sitting on the beach one day, and Eve says to Adam, "Let's go for a swim." Adam replies, "I'm not in the mood."
She says, "Okay, I will go by myself." She puts her toes in the water and splashes around and says, "The water is beautiful, come in!" Adam replies, "Na, still not in the mood."
Eve wades into the water until she gets to her waist. Adam jumps up and yells at Eve standing waist deep and says, "Oh no, now all the fish are gonna smell like that!"
Jesus and his friend went fishing. They both cast their lines out, and both of them get a bite, but Jesus's friend misses and says, "Damn, I missed." Jesus said, "That's a bad sentence to say; if you say it 3 times, something bad will happen to you." They cast it out again, and both get a bite, and Jesus's friend misses again and says, "Damn, I missed." Jesus replied, "If you say that one more time, something bad will happen." They cast out again, and Jesus's friend's line snaps, and he says, "Damn, I missed." Jesus said, "That's the last time something bad will happen." The biggest thunderstorm ever seen appeared, and a lightning bolt struck Jesus, and a voice came from the clouds, "Damn, I missed."
What do an angler fish and a pedophile have in common?
They both like to hide in dark places, look creepy, and like to lure small creatures.
Pastor: I don’t normally swear, but tonight I am going to, just for the halibut!
What's yellow and can’t swim?
Your dead fish.
My brother wanted to go fishing. I told him he had to learn how to "master bait". Go look it up on YouTube. Guess who is grounded?
Roses are red, fishers are fishing,
I really hope you’ll be reported missing.
What did the swordfish say to the marlin? You're looking sharp.
What did the blind man say as he passed the fish stand?
"Hello Ladies!"
In this modern age, I feel as though it's inappropriate to make jokes about herbs and fish.
It's not the thyme or the plaice for it.
One knight, a king, and a queen went fishing. They each caught one fish, so how did three fish end up in the bucket?
One "knight"!!!
What does the blind man say when walking past the fish market?
“Good evening, ladies.”
What would be a pet's favorite thing to click on on this website?
Cat-egories.
Get it?
What is another name for a stupid fish?
"Dum bass."
Yo mama so stupid she thought seaweed was something fish smoke.
There are 2 dads and 2 sons. They all caught a fish.
Why did they only come home with 3 fish?
(Answer)
There were a grand-dad, dad, and son.
If you don't get it, then it means grand father is the dad to the dad (1 dad). Dad is the dad for the son and a son for the grandfather. Get it?
Baby Shark be like, "It's the END," bruh, they dead.
A fish is dead, who do you call? Aquaman!
What's the difference between the Barracuda car and a fish?
The fish can't go fast.