Fired jokes
What do you call a redneck on fire?
A fire cracker.
What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire? Hot wheels!
My penis is on fire.
What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire?
Hot Wheeles.
What's the difference between a skeleton and a baby? I don't set the skeleton on fire.
What's the difference between me and a bus?
I'm not on fire...
Why was the blonde fired from the M&M factory?
For throwing out the W's.
Yo mama is so stupid that she got fired from the M&M factory for throwing away all the W's.
What's black and sitting in a chair? Steven Hawking after a house fire.
A fire broke out at the circus, it was intense.
What's so special about bullets?
They do work after they are fired.
A man got fired from the first coin factory. He exclaimed, "No! This is the only thing that's ever made cents!"
Q: How do you make a 9/11 cocktail?
A: Light two Manhattans on fire and then knock them over.
Q: Why did the Queer get fired from the sperm bank?
A: He got caught drinking on the job.
"Roses are red. Violets are red. My parents' bed is red. Oh shit, I set the house on fire!"
What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire?
Hot Wheels! We'll see him soon.
Chimmy: (smoking because of fireplace)
Chimmy2: You're too young to smoke.
What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire? "HOT WHEELS"
How do you make a cat go "woof"?
... douse it in gasoline and set it on fire! "woof!"
A kid is arrested for a school shooting threat. He is then apprehended and asked why he wanted to do this. He responds with, "What do you mean? I already did it." Then the police ran back to the school to apprehend the other people he was planning it with. The cops busted in through the doors, which caused a smoke trap to go off, which then the cops saw three people walk in and the police begin to fire. But as the smoke began to clear, the cops saw that the three people were 16 kids duck taped to rolling poles, 4 per pole. Back at the station, holding the kid being apprehended, the kid puts his feet up on a chair and said, "Aww, it pays to be lazy!"