Firearm jokes

What can't a Desert Eagle and Barrett do for stealth missions?

They can't be way too loud.

What do you call a Russian rifle that went 1 rank down?

An AK-46.

Dwayne “the Rock” Johnson has made a laudable, command decision to omit real firearms from his movie sets.

This being the case, he ought to produce, direct, and star in his next movie titled: “The Rubber Gun Squad!” 👌 😉

Me: How does this thing work?

ForTnite kid: Oh, you don’t know how to use a pistol? Look, I’ll show you.

ForTnitekid: *shoots foot*

Me: That wasn’t a very good demonstration.

I took my mother-in-law out yesterday morning,

It's great being a sniper.

I wish I was a policeman, 'cause then I would actually have a gun to shoot myself with.

The quiet kid's dad dies. You go, "Knock knock."

"Who's there?"

"Not your dad."

Then he says, "What comes after 47?"

The quiet kid says, "AK."

I bought a rainbow gun, but for some reason it doesn’t shoot straight.

Drop me in Afghanistan with a Dodge Challenger Super Stock, a Mexican named Jose, a 6 pack of Dr. Pepper, a golden SCAR, a pack of chimichangas, and an M4A1, and I'll have the Taliban saying the Pledge of Allegiance in 4 hours.

School shooting happens:

Foreign exchange student: Sobbing under desk.

American student: “First time?”

The student from Irak with an AK47: "RAtatata..."

What do you call an avocado that got shot? Glockamole.

What do you call a group of depressed kids with guns?

The suicide squad.

Me: Hey, that's a really heavy bag, do you have a lot of books and magazines in there?

The Quiet Kid: Yeah, magazines.....

Those poor kids at Sandy Hook, all they wanted was books. Instead, they got magazines.

What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?

Special Forces!! HAHAHA

What's America's no. 1 class?

Target practice.

Q: What comes before 47?

A: AK

I still remember my grandpa's last words; "Is that loaded?"

Two boys were playing cards on a picnic table outside the school. Both of the boys had revolvers hidden in their waistband.

Now, one of the boys was a notorious cheater, who liked to hide his cards in his waistband. Recess was just about to end, when all the kids heard a loud bang erupt from the picnic table. In tears, the card player admitted that he had shot the other card player, stating "I played a King, and he started reaching for his waistband!"

I was walking down the street one day, and I passed the gun store. I walked in, and everything was half off. I didn’t know back-to-school sales had started already!