Fire jokes

I usually don't make 9/11 jokes, but they just are fire.

What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

A hippo is really heavy, a Zippo is a little lighter.

Gender reveals be going crazy nowadays.

What do you call a bald person on fire?

A fried egg.

Why'd Biden get fired from the supermarket?

He kept telling little kids they smell like freshly baked bread.

The man fired from the World Trade Center on September 10.

That is just plain wrong.

I intern at an orphanage that burned down this weekend with 30 kids inside.

Thankfully, I don’t have to call and tell their parents.

I'm gonna eat a hell of a lot of popcorn kernels before I die just to make the cremation a little more interesting.

Why did the orphan not call 911 when he saw a tower catch fire?

'Cause he did not want any kids to go through the same pain.

What time is it when you can smell smoke inside?

Time to get outside!

I’ll pat your breasts, pat your breasts, cos I’m a baker’s man, and you better bring me an orgasm as fast as you can. I’ll pat you, and prick you, and mark you with my "D", And then throw you in the fire cos you’re now worthless to me!

What’s the difference between a police man and a bullet?

At least when a bullet kills someone, it’s actually fired.

I saw a little girl crying, and I said, "Where are your parents?" That day, I got fired from the orphanage. 🤪

Why was the duck fired from the train station?

He was a bad conducktor!

Cremation, the last chance to have a smoking hot body.

This isn’t much of a joke, but here's a pickup line. Are you a marshmallow? Because I wanna put my stick in you.

I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into a campfire and shouted out "Hot Wheels!"

The only thing brighter than my cuteness is the fire on the Twin Towers.

I saw a child crying yesterday, so I asked him where his parents were.

Bad move. I got fired from my job at the orphanage.

They finally released the audio recording from the black box in Kobe’s helicopter.

Apparently when the helicopter caught fire, Kobe was sitting right next to the only fire extinguisher. You could hear everyone screaming for him to put out the fire, but he couldn’t figure out how to use it. They begged and pleaded for him to give the extinguisher to anyone else... the last thing you hear is Kobe saying “I’d rather die than pass it!”