Fire jokes

One day there were these 3 cowboys sitting next to a fire and they were telling each other about their adventures. Well, the first cowboy said, "I tangled with a bull that killed 6 people, so I wrestled that son of a bitch to the ground with my bare hands."

The second cowboy said, "That's nothing. Yesterday I was walking on a trail and came across a rattler, so I picked it up, bit its head off, and drank all his venom in one gulp."

The third cowboy remained quiet, stirring the embers of the fire with his penis.

My uncle got really badly burned the other day.

They don't fuck around at the crematorium.

What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

A hippo is really heavy, a Zippo is a little lighter.

I usually don't make 9/11 jokes, but they just are fire.

Gender reveals be going crazy nowadays.

The man fired from the World Trade Center on September 10.

That is just plain wrong.

What do you call a bald person on fire?

A fried egg.

Why'd Biden get fired from the supermarket?

He kept telling little kids they smell like freshly baked bread.

I'm gonna eat a hell of a lot of popcorn kernels before I die just to make the cremation a little more interesting.

Why did the orphan not call 911 when he saw a tower catch fire?

'Cause he did not want any kids to go through the same pain.

Why was the duck fired from the train station?

He was a bad conducktor!

I intern at an orphanage that burned down this weekend with 30 kids inside.

Thankfully, I don’t have to call and tell their parents.

I saw a little girl crying, and I said, "Where are your parents?" That day, I got fired from the orphanage. 🤪

What’s the difference between a police man and a bullet?

At least when a bullet kills someone, it’s actually fired.

Cremation, the last chance to have a smoking hot body.

What time is it when you can smell smoke inside?

Time to get outside!

I’ll pat your breasts, pat your breasts, cos I’m a baker’s man, and you better bring me an orgasm as fast as you can. I’ll pat you, and prick you, and mark you with my "D", And then throw you in the fire cos you’re now worthless to me!

Teacher: What do you kids want to be when you grow up?

Kid 1: I want to be a firefighter.

Kid 2: I want to be a police officer.

Kid 3: I want to be dead like both my parents.

Teacher: Ok, everyone pull out your books.

Kid 4: Are we going to ignore what he said?

Teacher: What do you want me to do? Call his parents?

I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into a campfire and shouted out "Hot Wheels!"

The only thing brighter than my cuteness is the fire on the Twin Towers.