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Nemo

  • If Finding Nemo was scientifically correct, Marlin would have changed into a female and mated with Nemo.

  • 9
  • Love

  • In the realm of words, where thoughts take flight, A curious tale, strange as the night, Of Alex Fisher, with love so bizarre, For random Hitler lemons, bizarre but bizarre.

    Free Verse, they say, this poem shall be, Unrestrained, unrhymed, flowing and free, Yet how to capture this perplexing love, For lemons and Hitler, soaring above?

    Alex Fisher, a soul with peculiar taste, Finds joy in lemons with a sour embrace, And Hitler, a name that evokes dark pain, Inexplicably entwined, like wind and rain.

    Randomness, the thread that weaves this tale, No logic, no reason, no rhyme to prevail, For who could fathom this peculiar love, Of lemons and Hitler, below and above?

    Yet in the realm of words, where all is allowed, We explore the uncharted, the strange and the proud, And though this poem may bewilder and confuse, Let it remind us, acceptance we must choose.

    For love knows no boundaries, no norms to abide, It transcends our expectations, with no need to hide, So let us embrace the quirks that make us unique, For in the tapestry of life, we find what we seek.

    So here's to Alex Fisher, with love all their own, May they find happiness, wherever they've flown, In lemons and Hitler, a world so absurd, May their love be a reminder, that love has no words.

  • 1
  • Wheelchair

  • Once upon a time, there was a man named Jake who woke up one morning to find his wife and her wheelchair missing. He searched high and low, but they were nowhere to be found. Desperate to find them, he put up posters all over town offering a reward.

    A yellow sign with black stripes around the edges. It reads: ATTENTION, WIFE AND WHEELCHAIR MISSING! REWARD FOR WHEELCHAIR. It also says, FOLLOW ME ON INSTAGRAM FOR MORE @GOINGONCETWICESOLD
  • 0
  • Masturbation

  • Please folks, you can hit the thumbs up button on the ones you like. There is no need to repost.

    Anyways,

    Knock knock Who's there? Can I come in? Can I come in who? Can I Come In You!?

    More often than not, I will cry when I masturbate. Some nights I'm a real tear jerker!

    But on the nights and I smoke a lil pot and then masturbate, my dad ends up bugging me because I am a weed wacker.

    How do you keep a dog from humping your leg? Pick him up and suck his dick.

    How does Popeye keep his manly part from rusting? He sticks it in Olive Oil.

    Snow White and the seven dwarfs are in the the tub feeling "HAPPY". Happy got out now they are fucking "GRUMPY".

    What's worse than waking up and finding a "Penis" drawn on your forehead? Finding out it was "Traced".

    If I had a rooster and you had a donkey and your donkey ate my rooster what would you have? 3 feet of my cock up your ass.

    Did you know Batman was actually Black? Yeah he couldn't go a night with out Robyn!

    Did you hear Gods Word Of The Day? Its Legs! Now lets go out and spread them.

    What do you call a Mexican woman with no legs? Cunt-sway-low

    Whats worse than sucking 25 oysters out of your Grandmas Pussy? Realizing you only put in 15.

  • 3
  • Oatmeal

  • Clarie: I don't even care if it was a joke he made on me, you and Karlen, and if you think I'm getting over it, then you must have an oatmeal for a brain.

    Jordan: Clarie ... you are so sensitive when she tells a little joke about you, me, and Karlen.

    Clarie: It was painful!

    Jordan: Who cares? I laughed. Ben is not a bad person, okay, calm down.

    Clarie: Ben is a bad person. We are making friends with a bully/thug, but you say that he is not a "bad person", my mom is going to kill me if she finds out that I am hanging out with those kinds of people!

    Jordan: Then don't tell her! Listen, I need you, give Ben a chance! Please?

    Clarie: Shush, Karlen is coming!

    Karlen: Hey guys, that Ben guy for sure has a way of saying words, I wish I could hurt him!!

  • 0
  • Dildo

  • Police Report: Looking for a female, light brown hair, blue eyes, freckles, and a small scar on her right check.

    Last seen on CCTV wearing see-through bottoms, a pink top, and a vibrating dildo hanging out of her arse. If you find this woman, please get her to charge the dildo for excessive fun.

  • 0
  • Politics

  • A little boy goes to his dad and asks, "What is politics?" The dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I'm the breadwinner of the family, so let's call me capitalism. Your mother, she's the administrator of the money, so we'll call her the government. We're here to take care of your needs, so we'll call you the people. The nanny, we'll consider her the working class. And your baby brother, we'll call him the future. Now, think about that and see if that makes sense."

    The little boy goes off to bed thinking about what dad had said. Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has soiled his diaper. The little boy goes to his parents' room and finds his mother sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed.

    The next morning, the little boy says to his father, "Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now." The father says, "Good son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about."

    The little boy replies, "Well, while capitalism is screwing the working class, the government is sound asleep, the people are being ignored and the future is in deep shit."

  • 1
  • Recipe

  • Husband: Hey, my dear, this lunch is great. Where did you find the recipe?

    Wife: In a detective novel.

    Cancer

  • Disney just released a new film about a poor kid with cancer. It’s called Finding Chemo.

  • 1
  • Daddy

  • what happens when you accidentally taught your child to call every man daddy?

    you find the real one.

  • 0