Find jokes
What ankle is getting cut off of school? The lights.
As a fellow emo, I find these very rude and disrespectful. Please take off, or I'll tell Mom.
Also, if anyone knows any high bridges nearby, please tell me (I'm asking for a friend).
P.S. I have no friends.
Why can’t Jesus be born in West Virginia?
Because they couldn’t find three wise men or a virgin.
Hola! This is when I pranked my mom! I took a fake lobster and put it in the toilet. The fake lobster was in your attic, used for lobster parties, but anyway, I put the fake lobster in the toilet, so when my mom comes in she will find it and overreact to it. Well, she did not overreact, she FREAKED OUT OVER IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
First she screamed and then she looked at it and she saw it was fake. laterrrrrrr that's the prankster!
I told my friend you should definitely quit smoking, but he could not find me because he was already up in flames.
What place can you always find suicidal cows at?
"McDonald's."
Why don't rappers ever get lost?
Because they always find their way with their flow.
Family feud after finding out about Alabama.
I went to take out the trash, could not find you, so I went back in. The next day I found you.
What do you call an orphan? Homeless.
What's an orphan's worst favorite movie? Home Alone.
Why can't homeless people find a home? Because they're orphans.
Why can't a blonde call 911?
She can't find the 11.
Trying to find a good parking spot is a lot like trying to find a girlfriend.
If you can’t find one, you stick it in the disabled spot and hope nobody finds out.
Alright kids! Find a good place to stop! Then, out of the blue, Billy died. But hey, he went to a better place.
If an orphan wants food, who does it? No one. Everybody just watches him starve because they couldn't find his parents.
One day, someone goes out into the forest to go hunting, and finds out there are a few others in the forest. He comes back the next day to learn he is the only person there.
Where are the others?
They're in his freezer.
A guy goes into his attic to clean it out and finds an old oil lamp. He thinks he could sell it instead of throwing it away, so he starts to rub it and out pops this genie. The genie says to him, "Thank you for awakening me, I can grant you three wishes as a token of my gratitude." The guy wishes for a billion dollars, the genie grants it. The guy then asks for a huge mansion with 2 Lamborghinis and 2 Ferraris, the genie grants it.
The genie says, "This is your last wish so really make this one count." The guy says, "Well, I've always wanted to drive out to the Hawaiian islands, because airplanes scare me to death, so I would want a highway that could stretch from here all the way to the islands." The Genie says, "That is asking for quite a lot and I'm not sure if I can pull that off, is there anything else you'd want?" The guy says, "Well, I've been married and divorced three times, and I just can't understand what I've been doing wrong. I've given my ex-wives all the love and care that I could, but in the end it was never enough. I would want to have the ability to understand women." The genie thinks for a few moments and says, "Do you want a three or four lane highway?"
How do you lift a depressed person up?
No need, they'll find a way to get on the tree somehow.
How did the farmer find his lost cow? He tractor down.
Are you a banana...
because I find you a-peeling!
Why do orphans play baseball because they try to find home?