You find some dust on the ground. Your friends dare you to snort it... Then you realize your in a crematorium.
There were once three brothers, Shit, Shut up and Manners. One day Shit got hit by a car. Shut up went to find help at the local police station whilst Manners tried to help Shit. When Shut up got to the police station he says "my brother has just been hit by a car." The policeman replied with "OK then first I need to know your name." "Shut up" "No, I need to know your name." "Shut up." "Excuse me but where are your manners." "Round the corner picking up shit."
One man's trash is another man's treasure.... Wonderful saying, horrible way to find out you're adopted
A Catholic priest finds a young boy crying at the top of a cliff.
“What’s wrong? Why are you crying?”
The boy points down. “Mummy and Daddy were in the car and it went over the edge”.
The priest can see the flaming wreck below. He looks around and sees no one else is about and starts to unbutton his belt
“It’s really not your day, is it?”
Where do you find a dog with no legs?
Where you left it.
What's worst then finding 10 babys in 10 dumpsters??
Finding 1 baby in 10 dumpsters
What's worse than waking up with a penis drawn on your face?
Finding out it was traced
I am disabled and I find these jokes appropriately hilarious.
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was emotionally distressed after a break up and wanted to find some help at his friends pen, in the end he was run over by a car, marking a sad end to what might have been a good chickens life
My uncle and I have some what of an awkward relationship. At times I find him a bit hard to swallow.
what did the kid with luekemia watch last night? Finding Chemo
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
This isn't a joke but
I'm a survivor and use humor to cope. I find these extremely funny so please leave the people writing these alone 😭
"Son, I found a condom in your room."
"Gee, thanks, Grandpa!"
"Why are you calling me Grandpa?"
"Because I couldn't find it yesterday."
Why is parking a car like finding a girlfriend?
All the good ones are taken so you stick it in the disabled one and hope nobody notices
I can't find out where Stephen Hawkings is from, I just can't place his accent.
me: brings in missing child police: omg this kid has been missing for 3 months. here is your reward me: oh, cool
NEXT DAY
me: brings in 8 other kids
police :0 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am a big fan of whiteboards I find them quite re-markable
What do a fat chick and a moped have in common?
They’re both fun to ride until your friends find out.
Q:Why did Tigger stick his head in the toilet? A:To find Pooh!
