Find jokes

Say "I'm a man" after every sentence.

You walk into a bar. (I'm a man.) You find a girl. (I'm a man.) You take her home. (I'm a man.) She whispers in your ear. (I'm a man.)

Why are quantum physicists so poor at sex?

Because when they find the position, they can't find the momentum, and when they have the momentum, they can't find the position.

I saw a website for orphans. It was a bit confusing because I could not find the homepage.

How do you lift a depressed person up?

No need, they'll find a way to get on the tree somehow.

For dinner, this girl had noodles. The next day, she could not find her skinny sister. The mom said, "Your sister is dead!" sadly. The girl asked, "She was skinny, right?" The mom said yes. The sister laughed, "I ate her! That’s why the noodles were very skinny!"

Why can't orphans be gay?

Because they won't find anybody to call "daddy."

When I see the names of lovers engraved on a tree, I don’t find it cute or romantic. I find it weird how many people take knives with them on dates.

There once was a man from Peru who dreamed he was eating his shoe.

He woke up at night, with a terrible fright, to find out his dream had come true.

Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.

Nobody finds that one funny.

I find it best to screw people with memory loss. I mean, what's my grandma gonna do? Describe me to the cops?

What excuse can you use if you find out your date is a rape victim and you don't want the baggage?

Say you've parked your car in a bad spot and are just going to move it, then move your car all the way back to your home address.

Why did the orphan cross the road?

To find his family. Sorry!

Why is it so hard to find people defending suicide in any discussion?

Because they are really committed to their cause.

Q. What's a necrophiliac's favorite dating site? A. Find a Grave.

Mum finds out child cheats in math test.

Mom says, "There is no cheating in this house."

Child: "Then why did you cheat with my math teacher last night?"

Do you know that no one finds Hitler a great guy?

But he really saved the History Channel.

"WASSUP GIRLS IF I FIND YOU I'LL GLADLY FUCK YOU;]"

How many times does 50 fit into 9?

Get in a van and find out!

Where can a gay male that is abled bodied find the location of a glory hole if he is looking for a free and anonymous blowjob from another gay male?

From a physically disabled gay male who is either at the gym 💪 💪 🏋️‍♂️ or at the rest area ♿️ 🚹 🚽.

Why are orphans so bad at baseball?

Because they can’t find home.