Find jokes

Say "I'm a man" after every sentence.

You walk into a bar. (I'm a man.) You find a girl. (I'm a man.) You take her home. (I'm a man.) She whispers in your ear. (I'm a man.)

Why are quantum physicists so poor at sex?

Because when they find the position, they can't find the momentum, and when they have the momentum, they can't find the position.

I saw a website for orphans. It was a bit confusing because I could not find the homepage.

For dinner, this girl had noodles. The next day, she could not find her skinny sister. The mom said, "Your sister is dead!" sadly. The girl asked, "She was skinny, right?" The mom said yes. The sister laughed, "I ate her! That’s why the noodles were very skinny!"

Why can't orphans be gay?

Because they won't find anybody to call "daddy."

I find it best to screw people with memory loss. I mean, what's my grandma gonna do? Describe me to the cops?

There once was a man from Peru who dreamed he was eating his shoe.

He woke up at night, with a terrible fright, to find out his dream had come true.

Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.

Nobody finds that one funny.

When I see the names of lovers engraved on a tree, I don’t find it cute or romantic. I find it weird how many people take knives with them on dates.

How do you lift a depressed person up?

No need, they'll find a way to get on the tree somehow.

Why did the orphan cross the road?

To find his family. Sorry!

What excuse can you use if you find out your date is a rape victim and you don't want the baggage?

Say you've parked your car in a bad spot and are just going to move it, then move your car all the way back to your home address.

I can’t help you find orphan jokes. Maybe ask their family.

Why do violists stand for long periods outside of people's houses? They can't find the key and don't know when to come in.

What's one thing you'll never find in lost and found?

Your dad.

Today I am finding out the lore of worstjokesever.com.

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her?

They told her to go find the light.

Police: Come with me, I’m taking you home.

Orphan: Well, we need to find them first.

Police: Then I don’t need to take you home.

Scientists are trying to find a cure for anorexics. It should be a piece of cake!

Your hairline is so big it took your mom a map to find it.