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I saw a website for orphans. It was a bit confusing because I could not find the homepage.

How do you lift a depressed person up?

No need, they'll find a way to get on the tree somehow.

Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.

Nobody finds that one funny.

Why can't orphans be gay?

Because they won't find anybody to call "daddy."

For dinner, this girl had noodles. The next day, she could not find her skinny sister. The mom said, "Your sister is dead!" sadly. The girl asked, "She was skinny, right?" The mom said yes. The sister laughed, "I ate her! That’s why the noodles were very skinny!"

I find it best to screw people with memory loss. I mean, what's my grandma gonna do? Describe me to the cops?

There once was a man from Peru who dreamed he was eating his shoe.

He woke up at night, with a terrible fright, to find out his dream had come true.

What excuse can you use if you find out your date is a rape victim and you don't want the baggage?

Say you've parked your car in a bad spot and are just going to move it, then move your car all the way back to your home address.

Why did the orphan cross the road?

To find his family. Sorry!

One day a couple was walking when the man stepped on something hard and squishy, then they heard a sound from the bushes. Instead of looking down, they both ran.

Two years later, they turned on the TV to find Ted Bundy on trial. They asked him if he has ever been caught. He said, "No, but a couple was walking as soon as I killed a girl. I jumped into a bush. They didn't know I was there, but the man stepped on the dead body but didn't look down, then he and his girlfriend ran."

Why is it so hard to find people defending suicide in any discussion?

Because they are really committed to their cause.

Q. What's a necrophiliac's favorite dating site? A. Find a Grave.

Mum finds out child cheats in math test.

Mom says, "There is no cheating in this house."

Child: "Then why did you cheat with my math teacher last night?"

How do you find someone's hairline? It's simple, you don't.

Why are orphans so bad at baseball?

Because they can’t find home.

Do you know that no one finds Hitler a great guy?

But he really saved the History Channel.

¡Hola, soy Dora!

Can you help me find the two fucks I'm supposed to give?!

Why can’t you take a Black Asian guy golfing? Because he can’t drive and can’t find his own balls.

I used to date this girl only to find out she's a guy.

I guess you can say she had me in a trans.

If I ever find the doctor who screwed up my limb replacement surgery... I’ll kill him with my bear hands.