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I saw a website for orphans. It was a bit confusing because I could not find the homepage.

Why can't orphans be gay?

Because they won't find anybody to call "daddy."

For dinner, this girl had noodles. The next day, she could not find her skinny sister. The mom said, "Your sister is dead!" sadly. The girl asked, "She was skinny, right?" The mom said yes. The sister laughed, "I ate her! That’s why the noodles were very skinny!"

I find it best to screw people with memory loss. I mean, what's my grandma gonna do? Describe me to the cops?

Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.

Nobody finds that one funny.

There once was a man from Peru who dreamed he was eating his shoe.

He woke up at night, with a terrible fright, to find out his dream had come true.

How do you lift a depressed person up?

No need, they'll find a way to get on the tree somehow.

Why did the orphan cross the road?

To find his family. Sorry!

What excuse can you use if you find out your date is a rape victim and you don't want the baggage?

Say you've parked your car in a bad spot and are just going to move it, then move your car all the way back to your home address.

One day a couple was walking when the man stepped on something hard and squishy, then they heard a sound from the bushes. Instead of looking down, they both ran.

Two years later, they turned on the TV to find Ted Bundy on trial. They asked him if he has ever been caught. He said, "No, but a couple was walking as soon as I killed a girl. I jumped into a bush. They didn't know I was there, but the man stepped on the dead body but didn't look down, then he and his girlfriend ran."

Police: Come with me, I’m taking you home.

Orphan: Well, we need to find them first.

Police: Then I don’t need to take you home.

When you know you have a gay friend, but you find out that they like you!

Scientists are trying to find a cure for anorexics. It should be a piece of cake!

Your hairline is so big it took your mom a map to find it.

"Bill? Bill?" Bill hears faintly in the distance.

Bill Nye snapped back into reality only to find he had peed all over the set.

Why couldn’t the kid play baseball? Because he couldn’t find home.

Why did Cleopatra bathe in milk? She couldn’t find a cow tall enough to have a shower.

Why do violists stand for long periods outside of people's houses? They can't find the key and don't know when to come in.

Today I am finding out the lore of worstjokesever.com.

You get on an elevator and you find the Pope and Donald Trump cowering from two snarling wolves. In your hand you find a revolver with only two bullets in it... what do you do?

You shoot the Pope and the Donald each in a leg and exit the elevator at the next stop.