Finance jokes
Why do goalkeepers have so much money in the bank?
Because they are really good at saving.
Which company likes Jesus the most?
IHS Markit!
Bubba couldn't make rent, so he offered to sleep with the landlady instead.
I think he forgot he lived in his mom's basement.
Where does a snowman keep his money?
In a snowbank.
Why can’t orphans buy ice cream?
They don’t have money.
What did the bank say to the person?
Bank you very much.
Information has been leaked from government sources. When the current lock-up ends, the holder of the nation's purse, Fishi Rucksack, will launch a new initiative.
This will be to help the struggling "personal services" industry and will be labelled, "Sleep out to Help out."
My wife wanted a boob job. I told her it was too expensive.
I told her all she has to do is take some toilet paper and rub it in between her boobs for a few days, and they would get bigger. She asked, "How is that supposed to work?"
I replied, "I don't know how it works, but it did a heck of a job on your ass!"
Why did the number 10 make friends with 0? Because you have $100 dollars.
What did 1 pay with at the store? A 1/4 ;)
Homeless person says to a rich person, "I'm homeless."
Rich person: "Then buy a house!"
One man said, "Do you need 20 bucks?"
The other said, "Do you have that many?"
Advertisement: "What's in your wallet?"
Me: "The same amount of money as there is my will to live... ;_)"
Yo daddy so poor, when yo mama ask for sum child support money, yo dad don’t have it! 🤣
What is it called when young sheep bet?
LAMbling.
(haven't uploaded yesterday cuz couldn't think of a joke)
How do you keep a bull from charging?
You take its credit card away.
Why is an orphan's favorite game Monopoly?
Because they can actually buy a house.
The orphan had to earn money because he/she didn't have parents to give him/her an allowance.
Time for a Terraria joke.
What is a worm called when it is with a rich worm for his money?
A gold digger.
(play the game or watch some vids to understand)
A: Guess what kind of men/women do gold diggers like?
Q: One that has a sense of money.