Film jokes
If Bruce Willis (the guy in the Christmas movie Die Hard) dies of a Viagra overdose, would that mean he truly dies hard?
What do orphans like to watch? Spider-Man: Homecoming.
Jeff, did you hear they're making a film about Jimmy Savile? It’s a very touchy subject.
Yeah, I did, Gary, but did you hear the reviews on the Bill Cosby film? People said it was so boring it put them to sleep.
What movie do orphans relate to the most?
"Spider-Man: No Way Home." (Either that or Batman.)
Why was the director injured?
He couldn't find the right cast!
What show do orphans relate to? I'm going with "The Hunger Games."
Shrek once went to the movies and when he sat down he felt this slimy and sticky feeling on the chair, so he stood up and complained about his chair being dirty... until he realized that he forgot to wipe earlier... so he stopped complaining and went back to his chair and sat back down.
What do you call a kid watching Star Wars by themselves? Hans Solo.
What do CG artists and porn stars have in common?
They both composite (cum pose it) at the end.
What's an orphan's favorite movie?
"Spider-Man: Homecoming."
Have you heard of the movie "Constipation"?
No?
Because it hasn't come out yet.
Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon?
Because she’ll let it goo!
Joe mama's so hairy when she went to the movie theater, the people thought she was Chewbacca!
What’s your favorite type of wood? Mine is Bollywood.
Joaquin Phoenix as The Joker is like Heath Ledger if he overdosed on prescription drugs... Oh, wait. He already did.
What do you call a sad porno?
A tear jerker.
Why couldn’t the kitten watch the movie? It had a violent cat-e-gory.
When you feel lonely, just watch a scary movie.
You won't feel lonely anymore :(
I told an orphan his dad is Spider-Man: Far From Home.
Where did the cow go on his first date? To the moovies.