Father's jokes
Why do orphans go to church?
They have someone to call "father" there.
Mummy, how was I born?
Mummy replied, "Well, your father and I got married, and soon I became fat and you came out, and then in, out, in, out, and after you did that a million times, you were born."
Luke asks his friend, "How old is your father?"
James replied, "He's as old as me."
Luke then said, "It doesn't make any sense."
James then said, "He became my father when I was born."
Why do orphans go to church?
Because there they have a father.
Your manna so fat your father will be coming around the mountain when he cums.
Why do orphans like Darth Vader?
So he can say, "I'm your father!"
Why are there only 363 days in an orphan's calendar?
They don’t have fathers or Mother’s Day.
Anybody remember 9/11? Cause I sure do, and oh boy was my father a good pilot!💥
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your mom's house.
Knock knock.
You: Who's there?
Your new father!
I hate when my father doesn't cook me cocktails for tea.
If orphans aren’t religious, they really have no father. 😂
Why do orphans only have 363 days in a year?
Because they miss Mother’s Day and Father’s Day.
Myla, what did you do for Father's Day?
Myla: I went to a restaurant.
Timmy, what did you do for Father's Day?
Timmy: I went to a concert.
Olivia, what did you do for Father's Day?
Olivia: Talked to him through an ouija board.
If you're ever bored, just bully an orphan. What are they gonna do? Cry to their mama and father?
What is an orphan's favorite quote in Star Wars?
"I am your father!"
What does a baby computer call its father? Data.
There are 2 dads and 2 sons. They all caught a fish.
Why did they only come home with 3 fish?
(Answer)
There were a grand-dad, dad, and son.
If you don't get it, then it means grand father is the dad to the dad (1 dad). Dad is the dad for the son and a son for the grandfather. Get it?
Father: "Fritz, light the Christmas tree!"
Girl: "Daddy!"
Father: "Do I love you?"
Girl: "I'm a... a girl!"
Father: "Mhm!"
Woman: "Daddy?"
Father: "Of course?"
Woman: "I'm a girl too!"
Father: "Does God love children?"
Boy: "Yessss..."
Girl: "Dad."
Dad: "Do I love you?"
Girl: "I am a prostitute."
Dad: "Yes."
Woman 2: "Dad."
Dad: "Right?"
Woman 2: "I'm a woman too."
Father: "God, do you love children?"
Boy: "Yes..."