Father's jokes
One day a Chief was talking to his son... "Son," the father said, "Long ago the Woman didn't have anybody to take her to BINGO. So, the Creator put the Woman to sleep and cut off her butt cheeks and made her a Man. That's why today Indian Women have no butt, and the Men are called Buttheads!"
Yo mama so ugly, just after she was born, her mother said, "What a treasure!" and her father said, "Yes, let's go bury it."
Why was Kobe a good father?
He took his daughter with him.
Why did the orphan go to church?
So he gets to call someone father.
Q: What movie do orphans hate?
A: Fatherhood.
Why do orphans love to go to church?
Because they can finally call someone "father!"
There was once a kid named Timmy. His father and mother went to bed one night and didn't hear or see Timmy come with them.
They all get under the covers. Timmy, still unnoticed, looks under the covers and lets out a blood-curdling scream. "MOMMY, WATCH OUT! THERE IS A SNAKE GOING INTO YOUR BIG BLACK HAIRY BUSH!" And he proceeds to say, "DON'T WORRY MOMMY, I'LL GET IT!" And he takes his father's penis in his mouth and chomps down.
Now I want you to think what their breakfast conversation was the next morning.
A fireman, a policeman, and a carpenter went on a fishing trip. The fireman and the policeman both have the same father but different mothers, and they are half-brothers. But the fireman and the carpenter have the same mother and father, but they are not brothers. How is this possible?
Leave you answer in the comments. The answer will be revealed in 24 hours.
My mom showed me that she could deep throat a banana. I asked how you know how to do that. My mom said, "I practice on your stepfather."
My father told me to always carry a women's bag, but I don't know why he called the cops on me when I helped Mom's bag when we went parachuting. :(
Why do orphans go to church?
They have someone to call "father" there.
Bastards can never pray, because they don't have a Holy Father.
Father talks to his 5-year-old son: “No, Petie, you don’t have to worry. There is no monster sleeping under your bed. It sleeps every day in the bed next to me.”
Your manna so fat your father will be coming around the mountain when he cums.
Mummy, how was I born?
Mummy replied, "Well, your father and I got married, and soon I became fat and you came out, and then in, out, in, out, and after you did that a million times, you were born."
Luke asks his friend, "How old is your father?"
James replied, "He's as old as me."
Luke then said, "It doesn't make any sense."
James then said, "He became my father when I was born."
Why do orphans go to church?
Because there they have a father.
I hate when my father doesn't cook me cocktails for tea.
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your mom's house.
Knock knock.
You: Who's there?
Your new father!
Anybody remember 9/11? Cause I sure do, and oh boy was my father a good pilot!💥