Father jokes
My father died in 9/11. It's such a shame. He was a great pilot. 😔
What's the difference between a paralyzed kid and a father?
The father gets to leave, while the kid stays.
Why did the orphan go to church? So he had someone to call dad. 🤣
Jack and Jill went up to an abandoned house.
Jack drank too much and unzipped his fly. Jack said, "You know you wanna." Jill said, "No." So Jack locked both of them in the house and put a gag in Jill's mouth, tied her to a bed. He ripped off her dress and underwear. He took off his pants and his underwear too, then put on a condom. He then put a pill in her mouth and made her swallow. One minute later she was asleep. He took off her gag and mounted himself on her, then stuck his "candystick" in her mouth, next her fanny. Then his condom broke, but he was too drunk to notice. Nine months later a baby's born and Jack's in jail as the father.
Guys, we gotta stop telling these jokes. They are getting out of h- oh wait no .... Continue.
Yo daddy so stupid, he threw a Father’s Day party at the orphanage.
What did the Catholic priest say to the other Catholic priest as they entered the orphanage? Let’s us prey.
Father: I am taking your toys to the orphanage.
Son: Why?
Father: You’ll need them there.
Mom: Can I tell you a joke?
Kid: Sure.
Mom: Knock knock.
Kid: Who's there?
Mom: Not yo.
Kid: Not yo who?
Mom: Not yo father.
Kid: Not yo husband either.
Why do orphans like belts?
They remind them of their father.
How did your dad come back with the milk? The Milky Way.
I always wanted to go to the store as a kid because I always wanted to look for my dad that went to go get the milk, but I could never find him.
So, I walked into the kitchen and saw my mom had made cookies. I stole one, not noticing my mom was behind me.
So my mom said, "Put the cookie back, kid!" and I said I wasn't gonna eat it. Then she said, "Never mind, I'll get your father." So my mom said, "Honey, deal with your son; I'm going to the mall!" And my dad said, "Son, if you're not allowed to have a cookie before dinner!"
So he went into his room, and I heard the belt, and I was going to run, but I knew it would be worse. So he said, "This will be your punishment." As he was getting ready to hit me, I said, "Daddy, no, please, I wasn't gonna eat it!" But he said, "No, you won't change my mind, little boy!" Then he hit me. Thank you for reading! Stay healthy and stay safe in this time. Bye!!! Read more of my jokes; they'll probably be around the website!!
A father and son duo are sitting at a table, eating breakfast. The father looks at the child and says, "I'm hungry." The child looks at the father and replies, "Hi Hungry, I'm Son." The father calls his father and asks why he was named Hungry.
Why does an orphan hate the ending of Finding Nemo?
Nemo goes back to his father.
Someone came to me and said, "Your dad is gay." I just said, "Wait. You know where my dad is? Please tell me!"
What has 2 legs, 2 arms, and an abusive father?
Aaron.
What do orphans and sperm donor kids have in common? They don't have dads.
Don't let mistakes drag you down. My dad made one mistake, but it ended up fulfilling the 5-year plan of heat energy generation in less than a millisecond.
What did the orphan say to his father?
Nothing, he doesn't have one.
My great-great-great grandpa killed Hitler.
Jarod (😏): Man, Breya Smith is so hot! The things I would do!
Y'uree (😟): Yes, but... she moved, remember? Her father found a new "job," so she is now leaving until the fall.
Jarod (😞): Ah yes! BECAUSE!!!!!
Y'uree (😯): I don't know, bitch. Maybe she has other things to do, or we can give her a good gangbang before she leaves!
Jarod: (😒): No, I really want to fuck her by myself!
Jarod (🤔): Hmmmmmmm..... mhmmmmmm..... ummmmm..... hmmmmm.... not a bad idea!
Jarod (🤨): Or not?
Y'uree (🙄): Shut up, man!
Jarod (😠): NO, I mean it! THAT GIRL HAS THE BEST ASS FOR ORAL SEX!