Father Jokes

My young son saw trump on TV he asked "Why is the man on TV painted orange?" I replied "Son when Russia pays that much for equipment, They don't want it to rust"

The black nurse tells me she has been a vegan for 29 years. The father sitting next to me asks "so you don't miss fried chicken."

why was my mate in mission impossible because he couldn't find his dad

(Just a joke) when Stephen Hawking fell over and hurt his leg, his dad said " It'll get better just walk it off."

Why do orphans go to church so much?

So they can have someone to call father

Mom: can I tell you a joke Kid: sure Mom: Knock Knock Kid: Who there Mom: Not yo Kid: Not Yo Who Mom: Not Yo Father Kid: Not Yo Husband Either

why cant orphans celebrate christmas - father christmas left them

One day a father went out for some cold beer and threw the 18 pack in the back seat on top of the infant in the car seat. Fortunately it was light beer.

I remember my dad's last words "I met your father."

My son told me he has to bring an object for show and tell at school

So I had him bring my wife

Are you sure your father isn't a thief? Because he stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes.

I think my dads gay bc he goes out with his mates to get milk but never returns

Y is it everyone wants to rub a pregnant woman stomach but never the man's balls where the baby actually came from and the real ones that deserve the congratulations

#1 Man : pretend your age is a level, I am Level 20

#2 Man : My son Died at level 4

#1 : Lol, Your son is a noob

"Lizzie Borden took an axe And gave her mother forty whacks. When she saw what she had done, She gave her father forty-one. "

jamal- dads CAN grow on trees joseph

joseph- no they dont

jamal- yes they do. ive seen it

joseph- ...... thanks not what you thought it was

At school, Little Johnny’s classmate tells him that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, so it’s very easy to blackmail them by saying, “I know the whole truth.” Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out. Johnny’s mother greets him at home, and he tells her, “I know the whole truth.” His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, “Just don’t tell your father.” Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work, and greets him with, “I know the whole truth.” The father promptly hands him $40 and says, “Please don’t say a word to your mother.” Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day when he sees the mailman at his front door. The boy greets him by saying, “I know the whole truth.” The mailman immediately drops the mail, opens his arms, and says, “Then come give your Daddy a great big hug!”