Father jokes
Why do orphans like to go to church?
So they have someone to call father.
If you're bored, punch an orphan in the face. What is he gonna do, tell his parents?
A pregnant woman enters the hospital with her concerned husband. As she goes into labor, a group of doctors asked him if he would like to try a device that transfers your spouse's pain to the father's nervous system.
He agrees and the doctors turn the dial on the device to 10%. Strangely, the man felt little pain. They continued to adjust the dial until it stopped at 100%, yet the man felt nothing. Later on, the wife had delivered the baby and the pair left the hospital with a healthy baby only to find the milkman laying on their stairs with a puddle of blood around his head, shaking uncontrollably.
Mummy, how was I born?
Mummy replied, "Well, your father and I got married, and soon I became fat and you came out, and then in, out, in, out, and after you did that a million times, you were born."
(There was a mommy tomato, a daddy tomato, and a baby tomato.)
Baby: Wait for me!
(Father tomato walks back toward the baby.)
(He squishes the child.)
Father: Ketchup!
I wasn't close to my father when he died. Which is lucky because he stepped on a landmine.
Your mom laughs at your father, because he has an ugly wife.
I tried to explain to my 4 year old son that it's perfectly normal to accidentally poop your pants. But he's still making fun of me.
Father, then the priest says, "Son, Holy Spirit, amen." No, I was asking you a question, Father.
How did the Java programmer's son get rich?
Because of inheritance.
My dad told me I'm a failure.
I failed a math test.
Good thing there's a pole outside my house.
If the sun had a kid, it would be like father, like sun. 🤓 😎
what happens when you accidentally taught your child to call every man daddy?
you find the real one.
Dads are like boomerangs... I hope...
Why does Santa not have any children?
He only cums once a year.
Why did the orphan go to church?
It was because he was looking for someone to call "Father."
When you go to your girlfriend's house but accidentally go into her dad's room and fuck him anyway.
Why does an orphan hate the ending of Finding Nemo?
Nemo goes back to his father.
My dad died, so I dug his grave. I was asked why I murdered him. I answered, "Guess we'll never know who did it because he dug his own grave." My father was William Afton.
I saw an orphan and I said, "Yo."
He said, "What do you want?"
I said, "To be your new father."
"Really??!" the orphan said.
Me: Lol, no.
Orphan *Jumps into street*
Why does Technoblade make orphan jokes?
'Cuz he's the Father!!!