Fat jokes

Every time I come in the kitchen, my girl is in the kitchen in the damn refrigerator eating all the food, like the fried chicken, the mashed potatoes, the collard greens, mac and cheese, and the cornbread.

Then I said I wanna eat some of that shit. I love soul food. Then I told her, "You keep it up; your fat ass is going to be big like the house on Haunted Hill."

Yo mama so fat, you must refuel twice to run over her with a car.

Your mama's so fat, when she jumps in the pool, the water jumps out!

Yo mama so fat, when she plays Undertale, Omega Flowey's mouth isn't big enough to eat her!

You're so fat, no one was laughing, but the floor was cracking!

What's a fat Mexican woman's favorite movie? Tortanic.

Your mama is so fat, when she went camping, the bears hid their food from her.

You're so damn fat that the only belt that fits you is an asteroid belt.

Yo mama's feet are so fat, she had to wear a sock on each toe.

Your dad is so f**king fat that when he bends over and comes back up, it's the next day.

A fat man meets a skinny man.

The fat man tells the skinny man: "When people look at you, they think the world's starving to death."

And the skinny man responds: "When they look at you, they know why."

How can you tell that a woman cannot fit through a vent because she got pregnant from a baby elephant? Ain't no telling who's in better shape, the elephant or the woman. I guess it's probably Weight Watchers.

Yo mama so fat, the last time she 90210 was on a scale.

Yo mama's so dumb, she waited until the stop sign turned blue.

Yo mama's so fat, when she got pregnant, she fell to the earth's core.

There was once a young sister who never got anything good for her birthday, and she was sick of it. So one day the girl asked for a puppy, and the parents said yes.

When she got the puppy, he was nice, but the puppy needed food every two minutes. The parents eventually got sick of it and came up with a plan. Two weeks passed and the younger and less fat sister asked where her other sister was as she wanted to play Barbies. “And also, why haven’t you been feeding the dog? He needs food, you know.” The parents only answered with “Oh! Yes, you can have a room all to yourself now. And about the puppy...he won’t need feeding for years.”

Yo mama is so fat that she crushed her PlayStation profile.

How do you get a fat kid to lose weight?

You pay the ice cream man to keep on driving. IDK.

Yo mama's so fat, she woke up on both sides of the bed.

I'm not fat!!

I'm a Nutritional Overachiever.

Your mom is so fat that if she sits on top of a gas station, she will lower the prices.