Fat jokes

Yo mama so fat, she broke Usain Bolt's 100 meter speed record by taking ONE STEP!

You look like something I drew with my left hand.

Yo mama so fat, she eat 60 Big Macs while singing "Badaaha."

My friend was told by her doctor that she was morbidly obese.

As if she doesn't have enough on her plate.

You're so fat that I run around you for exercise.

Your mama so fat, when Pennywise said, "We all float down here," he saw her and suddenly knew he was mistaken.

Your mom is so fat that she can't get internet because she is worldwide.

What do you say to a fat Asian?

You got more chins than a Chinese phone book.

Yo momma is so fat, when she got on the scale it said, "I need your weight, not your phone number."

A short person should never piss off a fat person taller than them. The fat person just has to lean slightly, and it's 9/11 all over again.

Yo mama so ugly, when she looks in a mirror, it says, "Viewer discretion advised!"

You're so fat, the only thing you could be for Halloween is the Kool-Aid Man.

Life is like a McDonald's meal; it only lasts 7 seconds for fat people.

A blind man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?" The bartender replies with, "I'm blonde, the man working next to me is blonde, the woman next to you is blonde, and the fat guy behind you is blonde." Then says, "Do you really wanna tell the blonde joke?" The blind guy responds with, "No, I don't wanna tell it that many times."

You're so ugly that blind people cry when you walk past them.

Your mama so fat, she walked by a TV and missed eight episodes.

I keep getting ads about belly fat.

You know you’re getting fat when you sit in the bath, and the water in the bath rises.

Fat people should expect big things when they take their shirt off.

Joe mama so fat when she got sturdy, she tripped on her shoelaces, fell on her face, and fell down 2 floors.