Fat jokes

Teacher, what do you call sex making out with a C.I.W.?

You went to the bed store asking for a water bed. They put a pillow and sheets on the ocean.

Yo mama so fat...

That when she used a jump rope... Every time she jumped caused a giant cataclysm!

Yo mama is so fat that she got on the scale, and it says, "Lose some pounds before you get on the scale, or it will break!"

Your mom is so fat, she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl.

Your mama's so fat, when she jumps in the pool, the water jumps out!

Aliana is so fat, she can't fit through a hula hoop.

My wife is so fat! When she goes swimming, she leaves a ring around the lake.

When my friend fell, I didn't crack up, but the sidewalk did.

If a skinny person wants to gain weight, does that make them a trans fat?

Yo mama is so fat, she jumped on a trampoline and she broke it.

You're so fat, when you went on the weighing scale, it said "to be continued."

Your mum is so fat, when I was driving I had to swerve to avoid [her]. By the time I had finished, I had ran out of gas.

What do you call a fat woman that prays?

A holy cow.

Your mum so fat she's diabetic... LOL

Q. What movie is a fat person most afraid of?

A. The Hunger Games.

This dude is so fat, wearing the same damn clothes every day. Every time he turns around, it's his graduation day. He forgot to put a boomerang on his pants because they don't even fit anymore. Last time I saw him coming down the street, it was in a bucket of Popeye's chicken, extra crispy.

You're so fat that when you went sunbathing at the beach, Greenpeace came along and pushed you back in the ocean.

You're so fat that when you went outside, you broke the 2-meter rule for COVID.

Yo mama so fat that every time she takes a swim, the Arctic sinks by a mile!