Fat jokes

What did the orphan say to his dad last?

Please get non-fat milk!

You're so fat, you caused the Titanic to sink!

Yo mama so fat, when she takes an elevator, it ALWAYS goes down!

Your mum is so fat, when she was in front of my apartment, I couldn't get in.

My wife is so fat. She jumped up in the air and got stuck.

Yo mama so fat, when she walked across the floor, she fell through it.

You're so ugly, you made Hello Kitty say bye!

You're so fat, when someone calls you fat, you get depressed and cut you a slice of cake.

Yo mama's so fat, she invented double doors!

Your mom is so fat, every time she turns around, it's her birthday.

A man walks into a bar and sees a jar of ten dollar bills, so he asks the bartender if it's a jar of tips. The bartender says no, it's for a bet. So the man asks what the bet is and the bartender says, "Well, if you put ten dollars into the jar then knock out the bouncer, next you go outside and remove a rotten tooth out of the rottweiler's mouth, and last you go upstairs and give an orgasm to the fat lady who has never had one. If you can do all those things then you get everything in the jar as well as free drinks for the month." So the guy puts in ten dollars, turns to the guy next to him and knocks him out with one punch. Then the guy continues outside, all you hear for an hour is screaming and whining from the dog. When all is silent, the man walks in and asks, "So where is the fat lady with the tooth?"

Your mama's so fat, when she grew an inch, she pushed the Earth down.

Your mama is so fat and stupid. She got hit by a school bus. Her reply was, "Who threw that Twinkie at me?"

Roses are red, violets are blue, people think that you’re fat, until they saw your mom.

I was watching TV with my brother, and a diabetes commercial came on saying, "I have type one diabetes, and I manage it well."

My brother said, "You want a cookie?"

Yo mama so fat, when she was just there, she made the whole earth go back to the ice age!

Your mum's so fat that when she goes to KFC, they run out of stock of chicken.

Enemy: You know, I saw you walking down the street, and at first glance, I thought you were a fat and ugly bitch.

Me: Strange... Who puts a mirror in the middle of the street?

Your mama is so fat, when her husband said, "Let's go to the Super Bowl," she bought a spoon.

You're so fat, every time you go in the elevator, it goes down.