Fat

Fat jokes

Panda

What do you call a fat Chinese person that talks way too much? Panda Express.

Mama

Your mama so fat that when she sits around the house, she literally sits around the house.

Wife

My wife is so fat! I took her to the Grand Canyon. She fell in and got stuck!

Wife

My wife is so fat! When she goes swimming, she leaves a ring around the lake.

Mum

Your mum is so stupid, when she went on your phone it got fat.

Mama

Your mama is so fat, when her husband said, "Let's go to the Super Bowl," she bought a spoon.

Book

Did you hear that Rushdie has a new book? It's titled "Buddha, that Fat Fuck."

Shrek

Me: No one likes Shrek; he is just a fat green guy.

Friend: Hey! Stop talking about me.

Weight

She's so fat that when she steps onto a wood floor, the floorboard doesn't creak, it screams: "Goddamn!!!" before it snaps from the weight.

Whale

I took my girlfriend to the beach, and a marine biologist thought she was a beluga whale.

Mama

Yo mama so fat that when she saw Thanos and he tried to snap her out of existence, it didn't work, and he said, "Man, I quit!"