Fat jokes

A guy goes into the gas station and says, "I need a box of rubbers with pesticide."

The cashier said, "Pesticide? Don't you mean spermicide?"

The guy says, "No! My old lady has had a bug up her ass all week, and I am going to kill it."

Your mum is so stupid, when she went on your phone it got fat.

Did you hear that Rushdie has a new book? It's titled "Buddha, that Fat Fuck."

Yo momma so fat that it was hard to find the G spot and slip her one at night.

Fat bully. That was just the starter, now do you want the main course?

Me: I don't think I want that because you already ate it.

Call me fat? You call me fat because you think that you’re pretty, but you ain’t. You’re just a musty, dusty, rusty Cardi B.

Charlen's hairline is sooooo fat because it was never brushed.

Charlene's hairline was so far back that she was practically bald and fat.

Why is the world split in half? Because fat people are weighing the Earth down.

Your mama's so fat, when she grew an inch, she pushed the Earth down.

You're so fat, you went on a scale and it said, "One at a time."

Yo mama so fat that when she sits, she makes a 7.4 earthquake.

How do you get rid of a fat ghost? You exercise it.

You are so fat that when you jump into the pool, everyone gets out.

Your mama so fat that when Thanos snapped his finger, it only got rid of weight.

Yo mama so fat that when she took a selfie, she needed two phones.

Last week I went on a whale watch.

After everyone had piled onto a boat, they loaded the boat onto a trailer and drove to your house.

You're so fat, you lasted a whole year on the cross just off of your fat.

Yo mama's so fat, when she walked by the TV when I was watching a show, I waited, and when she finally passed by, Netflix said suggestions: Hulu, and Peacock.

Your mom is so fat that when she stood on a scale, it said, "We need an actual person, not an elephant!"