Fat jokes

Your mama so fat that when Thanos snapped his finger, it only got rid of weight.

Yo mama so fat that when she took a selfie, she needed two phones.

Last week I went on a whale watch.

After everyone had piled onto a boat, they loaded the boat onto a trailer and drove to your house.

Yo mama so fat and old, she is the reason the Great Depression happened.

Kid singing “abcd.”

Person says, “No, no, it’s obcd.”

You're so fat, you lasted a whole year on the cross just off of your fat.

My wife is so fat, she gets weighed on the Richter scale.

My wife is so fat, she gets home, her ass gets home a half hour later.

My wife is so fat, I took her to the Macy's Day parade. They attached ropes to her.

My wife is the only person that has "missing" posters attached to her ass.

My wife is so fat. I finally got up the energy to walk around to the other side. I found someone else!

My wife is so fat! She wears high heels, she strikes oil.

When she sits around the house, she really sits *around* the house. Every time she turns around, it's her birthday.

A guy goes into the gas station and says, "I need a box of rubbers with pesticide."

The cashier said, "Pesticide? Don't you mean spermicide?"

The guy says, "No! My old lady has had a bug up her ass all week, and I am going to kill it."

Your mama is so fat.

She steps on the scales. She has to return in a couple days to get the results.

Your mama is so stupid, her phone died, so she buried it in the backyard!

Your mum is so fat, when she was in front of my apartment, I couldn't get in.

Your mum is so fat, when she was sitting on a scale, the number couldn't even fit on the scale and came shooting out!

Yo momma so fat that it was hard to find the G spot and slip her one at night.

Fat bully. That was just the starter, now do you want the main course?

Me: I don't think I want that because you already ate it.

You're so fat, you went on a scale and it said, "One at a time."