Fat Jokes

Fat girls give the best head because they are hungry and eat the most dick.

Fat people are thirsty, so I piss in their mouth.

What goes black, white, black, white, down a hill?

A fat nun.

Yo mama so fat, she sunk the Titanic.

Americans are so fat that they named an atom bomb "Fat Man" to describe themselves.

Yo mama so fat, her swimming is Sea World.

Yo mama so fat that when she attempted suicide, she bounced to Area 51.

What is stuck between a doorway?

Rebel Wilson.

Your Momma's so fat, the recursive function calculating her mass causes a stack overflow.

Joe Momma so fat when Santa came down the chimney he said, "Ho, ho, holy crap!"

Your mama is so fat, when she went camping, the bears hid their food from her.

Location is in London by the way.

One day a fatass came home and told his friend that he lost money.

His friend: "Oh for once you lost some pounds!"

A farmer has 3 fat ugly cows. One is named Xia. The next is named Chiang. What's the third?

Yu.

You're so fat, Thanos had to snap three times to destroy you.

Friend, you so faaaat.

Me: Boy, at least I'm not built like a Nintendo Switch.

When I went to the doctor, he pulled his wife in and said, "What do you see?"

I replied, "A fat bitch." He said, "Ok, your eyesight is perfect."

Why do the Japanese hate Christmas?

Because the last time a Fat Man came down the chimney, they lost half their population.

There was a man who had just moved from a foreign country. He just moved into his apartment and was watching his favorite TV shows. The first one was "me-me-me, me-me-me, me-me-me-me-me-me-me," the second one was "forks and knives, forks and knives, all I use is forks and knives," and the last one was "BRING IT ON, FAT MAN!!"

There had been a murder in the area, and the man was walking in the park when a cop showed up and asked him, "Sir, have you seen this man?" and held up a photo. The man said "me-me-me, me-me-me, me-me-me-me-me-me-me." The cop said, "Sir, what did you use?" and the man said "forks and knives, forks and knives, all I use is forks and knives." After that, the cop said, "Sir, I'm going to have to arrest you," and the man said "BRING IT ON, FAT MAN!!" The screen goes black, and all you can here "chk-chk. BANG"

Borders are fat.

Your momma so fat, when she asked for a water bed, she got a concrete bed.